Worldly Rants and Raves

Barchef

2011-11-03T23:56:00.000-07:00

Saturday night out. After having dinner at a cute Italian place (Cinquecento Cafe) my friend and I wandered North towards home looking for a bar to have a drink or two before we called it a night.

Getting to Queen street we headed East and ended up in the centre of the rock bar/club district. I love the vibe and the music blaring out of all the venues, people littering the sidewalk smoking, wearing dark clothes, chains, lace, and oh so fun items I have grown to adore. We stopped at Barchef and upon my friend's remark of "never been," I dragged her in.

We entered the darkened room full of people who clearly didn't fit in with the rocker vibe of Queen West. I noticed people seemed to be slightly dressed up, as my eyes trailed along the lush fabrics, and modernized victorian decor. We maneuvered our way through the packed room; headed for the bar. Deep smells of herbs, oils, and fruit filled my senses, as loud fifties dance music pumped from all walls.

All the patrons have smiles, and I noticed a giant screen playing black and white Charlie Chaplin-esq films. This made me smile… as did the two seats that opened up at the bar directly in front of us.

Sitting down, I wrestled a menu from my distracted neighbours and began to see the beauty of true mixology. House-infusions of molecular gastronomy, and flavour combinations of eccentricity, sent a tingle up my spine in excitement.

It took us about ten minutes to get the attention of a bartender and we ordered our first round. Given, I understand it also takes ten minutes to make certain cocktails.

I decide on the "Four Seven Two" which is a deliciously smooth bodied bourbon mojoito with cola bitters. My friend ordered the "Strawberries and Lavender", which takes a little more time to prepare. Upon smelling it, the lavender was in the forefront with the strawberries to follow. When tasting, it was the complete opposite, strawberries filled your mouth with a remanence of lavender for a pleasant moment afterwards. This drink is geniusly created with strawberry infused gin, Lavender infused grand marnier, with fresh lime, elderberry bitters and a lavender sugar rim of delicious.

As we wait for, and enjoy our first round of drinks, I notice the "very" busy, good-looking bartenders. They all are wearing fifties-esq apparel, with Modernized vests, fedoras, and collars with ties. All three of them are tossing, and preparing quality cocktails as fast as they can.

I watched one make the "smoked manhattan". He used a blowtorch to ignite a dish of hickory vanilla wood chips. As the wood chips burned, he took a chunk of ice and hand-carved it to the perfect size. Placing that it a cocktail glass, he mixed the manhattan, which contains crown royal, cherry vanilla bitters, vanilla cognac, and hickory smoked syrup. The wood chips finish burning, and he placed them into a container that allows the martini to sit on a platform above the smoking wood chips. The dome (of the container) is closed and the smoke stays incased inside. The drink is then served to guest further down the bar, who looks excited. Once most of the smoke is dissipated from the dome, a server removed the drink and gave it to a guest. Once this drink has been served, the bar is left with the ambrosial fragrance for a pleasant while. Although I was incredibly tempted to try this concoction, my wallet would not allow me to do so ($45 for the manhattan).

The man to my left strikes up a conversation about the establishment, and seems completely fascinated. He is a visitor to the city, and the three of us have some decent conversation. He's not creepy or trying to pick us up, just genuinely having a good time.

I got playful with the busy bartenders at one point or another, and they were friendly enough given how busy they were. Overall we had an absolutely great time. I highly recommend this place to absolutely anyone who has an interest in mixology as an art form. This cocktail menu is leaps and bounds away from a rum and coke, that will leave any liquor lover begging for more.

End of a relationship...

2011-10-19T22:14:00.000-07:00

When you hit "that" end, when you can feel your days are numbered, it is a strange feeling. Do you find yourself constantly thinking, "this will be the last time we…."? Your current relationship dictates how you approach the situation. It can be a morose, or a reliving time when it comes down to the last days.

You gather with friends, celebrating their departure from your life whether positive or negative. Regardless of their impact on your life, they've changed you. You've shared moments, memories, and experiences.

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive" ~Anais Nin

Only time will tell what your future relationship has in store. Whether it be long distance, painful memories of a happier time or just a lack of communication, one can hope always for the best possible outcome. To hope for a possibility for that person to continue to exist in your life, or just your thoughts.

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." ~Albert Schweitzer

Positive thoughts, get on the right track

2011-10-02T14:29:00.000-07:00

It has been forever since I have written anything in this blog. I feel that is okay, as no one reads it anyways.

Recently my life has a done a crazy shift around. Once you get out of the burning building, through the flames, through the smoke and heat, out into the street and you heartbeat begins to return to normal, only then do you start to grasp the new situation you have been handed. At this point you can check and feel your wounds and decide how you are about to live for the next five minutes.

I am currently in this moment, although I have been stretching it out. Instead of being proactive with my time, I have been enjoying the lack of responsibilities.

Hopefully now I can gain some determination and start working towards my dreams. Life is about climbing that staircase, one step at a time. I have gotten to a great flight of stairs, but I have sat down. I need to force myself to continue walking. Only I can make myself do so.

Dinner at Cinquecento Cafe

2011-09-30T23:00:00.000-07:00

I had this past Saturday night off! That NEVER happens in the restaurant industry, so I decided to take full advantage of it. I met a friend and we headed to Queen West to check out the legacy that is Terroni. However, after arriving there and seeing the line out the door and down the block we decided that we were in need of some other delicious eats.

I pulled out my trusty I-phone (Glitz) and checked on Urbanspoon. We ended up at Cinquecento Cafe (791 King St. West, Toronto). We were impressed finding a Italian place not too far away.

Starting the evening off right, we ordered a decently priced bottle of Malbec, and decided to split the Antipasto plate to start. When it arrived we were pleasantly surprised. Although there was only a small amount of meat (some salami and Mortadella), the fresh grilled vegetables were so plentiful. There was shaved parmesan, grilled eggplant, olives, mushrooms, roasted red peppers, grilled zucchini, pickled eggplant, and even a mini caprese salad with fresh basil and all. Each of the vegetables had been brushed, grilled, and/or seasoned differently and the flavours were very impressive.

We followed this with Nona's recipe of stuffed shells. The three groundmeats were cooked and seasoned delightfully, and packed into larger sized pasta shells. Presentation was good and each were neatly decorated with a light amount of herbs. It was a perfect amount of food to finish off with dessert.

We choose the tiramisu… probably not the best part of the meal. There was a lack of flavour to it, not too strong espresso taste or lady finger sponge, and it seemed drenched with whipcream, covered in caramel sauce. Overall a good experience. The owner was kicking around and made a point to check on us during our dinner. I plan to go back at some point, looking around the restaurant I noticed the pizza's looked huge with a great Italian thin crust. The other pastas looked packed with flavour and like quite generous portions.

Me!

2010-08-11T11:02:00.000-07:00

Since my return from my sabbatico, I feel like I've been in this perpetual state of running. Constantly jumping from one this to the next, with no lay-overs or nights to just sit and relax. I realize that I have forgotten the most important lesson of my trip and what's most valuable to me. What is it you might ask? Why it's me!
I have simply forgotten to do the things that make me happy and enjoy the minimal free time I've had. I also debate attempting to have a balance between work, friends, and home life... one always seems to be suffering. What is the equation to allow for this balance? Anyone got that figured out??
Well, it is true that this summer I have been to far more concerts, festivals, and had numerous fun times with friends... I can also say that work is going quite well... I'm serving more than bartending, getting decent sections and working mostly nights.....
My home life goes through phases... it seems that it can stay fairly organized for maximum of a month... and then it falls to pieces for a week or so.
And my attempts at dating.... don't even get my started on the disaster that is my love life and how I will probably never get over him. So much time has gone by, one would think the memories might subside.
I wonder if I could say this thing with myself is like a relationship... you need to work on it before it grows into something bigger, better and more beautiful.
Ok self... let's go on a date! Tomorrow I'm gonna take you out for coffee (yumm moch java chip frappicunio), and buy you something nice. This is after I allow you to leisurely sleep in and I make you breakfast in bed. Tehehe!

Simon's trip to Vancouver

2010-05-12T19:16:00.000-07:00

Monday, April, 24th

I awoke the next morning to a beautiful day. It seemed a little chilly, but it was gorgeous out. By the time Simon arrived in Vancouver, and I had to go pick him up it was pouring. My feet were soaked by the time I walked down to the bus stop and back, and so I gave in. I finally bought some water-proof shoes. At this point with rain everyday, and another six days in Vancouver to go, I knew I didn't have much of a choice. I paid ten dollars for the whitest shoes ever. They are really ugly, and I will probably never wear them again after this trip.

Simon and I wanted to do something, but it was pouring… He had plans to meet up with his friend Doug, but that fell through.

We ended up going to three different bars, having dinner and drinks. In one of these bars hung these black and white pictures of city scapes from Toronto. I thought it a bit strange to be in Vancouver, staring at pictures of Toronto. One is on Elm St. and Yonge St. I've been past the other one before, and I NEED to figure out where exactly it is before it drives me mad!!

THe first bar we went to had shitty food, but good cheap drinks. The last bar we went to had terrible drinks. I'm sure my wine had been sitting for Days! YUK! The middle bar was just right.

We stayed up late into the night drinking our booze in the hotel. At one point when Simon was in the bathroom, I climbed under my covers (still sitting up). He came out and plopped down on his bed, "You can't go to sleep, we are in the middle of a heart-to-heart here." I laughed so hard (no affence Simon!). Just the way he delivered the line, and the fact it was coming from Simon was hilarious. He usually says, I don't really want to talk about it, when the conversation sways to far in one direction.

We stayed up chatting for quite a while.

Tuesday, April, 25th

Simon woke me up, for what he said was the second time around 10:30. We grabbed breakfast sandwiches at a nearby coffee shop/ deli place. After that we decided to head down to Stanley Park. Simon wanted to see it, and I felt like even though I had walked a great majority of it, that there was still probably more to see.

We approached it through the West side (I came from the East the time before) of the park. We walked along the boardwalk passing many joggers, rollerbladers, and bicyclists.

Simon kept talking about ice cream, and convinced me to get some. We stopped in a kid's park to sing some Our Lady Peace, and Nine Inch Nails, while swinging on the swings.

We continued on past a watermark that was closed for the season. I think we both wanted to climb the fence and chill in the empty pools. Then we made theories on how we would have an empty pool party.

We stopped for a bit of a break on the beach to enjoy the beautiful weather, and the stellar view.

We followed along the outer skirts of Stanley Park. The beach turned into rocks, and eventually into giant cliffs, that rose like Gods beside us. There was this Seagull just sitting by the shore, it wasn't until I took this picture did I realize what it had in it's mouth. I wondered if this was something it had found dead, or something it had caught himself. I'm almost positive it's a starfish.

Near the time when we were heading out of the park it had started to rain. We didn't mind too much in the beginning, until it started to pour. Eventually the pounding rain turned into hail, and we seeked out refuge under a bridge. While we were there we sang Under the Bridge by Red hot Chilli Peppers. It was a fond moment of mine :)

Then we grabbed a bus back to the downtown, and grabbed some coffee and crepes.

We then high-tailed it over to the Art Gallery where I was supposed to meet Rudy for 4:30pm. Only by 5:10 I realized that maybe he wasn't going to show up. We headed back to the hotel and I called him, only to discover that he had been waiting at another entrance. We decided we would be in touch, and figure out another time to meet up.

Simon and I watched some baseball (daily ritual of ours), and some sitcoms then headed out to grab some dinner. I had been singing about Steak all day, and we both knew it was going to be a deliciously epic meal. We headed over to the Keg, sat at the bar and had some great food. I had some great wine, with perfectly cooked steak. I even got to have some port with my dessert. I was in heaven with the quality of the meal, in comparison to the crap I had eaten the night before. I remember a large portion of the dinner conversation circled around baseball. It's nice to have someone to talk to about it. We are definitely a hockey country.

We left feeling full and a bit buzzed. We both had the intention of heading out to other pubs, it just never happened. We ended up chilling in my hotel room, playing drinking songs for one another. The best that came up was Spirit of the West, although we did have a great sing along to Mary Mac, and fuck you I'm drunk!

We kept the shine on the bar, from the sleeves of our coats.

You'll have to excuse me, I'm not at my best

I've been gone for a month, I've been drunk since I left

These so called vacations will soon be my death

I'm so sick from the drink, take me home for a rest

Take me home

Fun in Vancouver

2010-05-12T19:15:00.000-07:00

I took the mid-day ferry from Victoria to Vancouver. Once again it was raining and I couldn't see much from the ship. It was also pretty foggy, and I was staring at the fog collecting and gathering on the nearby islands and mountains. It seemed almost like the rain was creating the fog because the mountains were too hot. Seemed like stream or something.

Vancouver felt also like it whirled by. This time there wasn't as much booze and bar hopping, as much as so many things to do and never enough time. I got there late in the evening and checked in. I went out a grabbed a quick sandwich, and pretty much turned in for the night. I was exhausted!

This was the first time I didn't feel like a princess in my hotel room. All the hotels I stayed in up until this point were great. The best and biggest one was in Jasper. They gave me so many towels, extra bedding, and all organically made soaps and shampoos. The bedroom there was in the entrance, and it had a separate living room. It was my little luxury palace while I stayed in the mountains.

The hotel in Vancouver was much less expensive, and I could feel it. I had (for the first time since I was ten a single bed. Which was a step up from the couch I had been sleeping on at Simon's. There was just enough room to walk around the single bed, and that was about it. The television was about the size of my computer screen. At first, these things really bothered me. But I got used to them for the couple days I was there. Then Simon gave a get-out-of-jail-free card, and I was "forced" to upgrade my room. He decided to come and chill with me for a couple days in Vancouver. I got a double bed, and the room had a lot more space. At this point, I no longer cared as much as I did when I first arrived there.

My first day in Vancouver I did what I have grown to quite enjoy in a new town. I just wandered. I was staying right in the heart of the shopping downtown. I was surrounded by brand name chain stores, and they were all open late. I was disgustingly happy with this discovery. I also knew, I would probably end up buying a bunch of stuff I would have to figure out a way to get home.

I wandered around downtown checking out different shops. I loved the Chapters, and probably spent about two hours in there. I saw this really cool Sweeny Todd barber type chair in this trendy vintage store.

On my way back to my hotel I stopped by SteamRollers on the recommendation of a friend. He told me to get the Wet burrito, and after reading about the yogurt, and guacamole they put in it, I was sold. I expected this little burrito, and was going to grab dinner a couple hours later. Little, the burrito was NOT. It triple the size of a regular burrito and drenched with these and other delicious sauces on top. It was so mouth-watering I couldn't stop eating. Suffice it to say, I did not grab dinner that evening. I was FULL!

SUNDAY, APRIL 23rd, 2010

Once I had gotten back to Vancouver I sent an e-mail to William asking him if he wanted to hang out, and he did :)

We met up and I took him on a long walk to Gastown. I forgot how cute it looked with it's brick and cobblestone streets. We weren't impressed by the stream clock like all the other tourists were. It's one of Gastown's landmarks, and runs completely on steam. It was interesting the way the steam billowed out of the top.

We stopped in a cafe and each had a hot chocolate. I love he way William says it, it's a mix between chocolate and the french chocolat. It's like "hot shaw-co-lit".

We then decided to go to Stanley Park, but walk around the shore to get there. On the way we saw this giant cruise ship.William spoke hopefully about one day going on a cruise and seeing the whole world. He took a lot of pictures of the ship.

We looked across the harbour at how green and beautiful North Vancouver seemed to be. This walk was about two hours or so. We spoke of many things, and saw many interesting things.

There was this cute water-airport full of planes taking off and landing. We stayed watching the planes for a while, both secretly wishing we could be on them, going to some exotic location. There was also a water-gas station?!! I was so impressed, but yet the questions still looms… how do they get the gas there? I'm sure it's boated over, but it was funny at the time to think of all the silly scenarios.

The walk was pretty and we encountered many interesting things along the way, like this house on stilts. William took many pictures along the way constantly changing the settings on his camera to better suit the situation.

We also took a break to play leap-frog with some monks. I think Spongy won.

Then slowly before we realized it… we were in the park. There was a tonne of wildlife and everything was so green and beautiful. We walked through the centre and around Bear lake. We headed over to Ferguson point for the sunset.After the sun had gone we headed back into the city, and back downtown. As we did so, we heard lots of car horns blaring, people singing and screaming. We realized the Canuck's had just won the series. Now they have a series with the Black Hawks for the cup. The streets were such an overwhelming cheer and excitement. William and I couldn't hear one another, and adopted the contagious smiles from the crowd. We grabbed some dinner, and said goodnight around eleven thirty and I walked the happy streets back to my hotel.

Victoria

2010-05-12T19:14:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, April, 20th, 2010

The next couple days passed quickly. I ventured downtown a lot by myself. I was giving Simon some time to get some homework done. Also, I wanted to go do touristy things that I knew would probably annoy someone who had lived there for years.

I found the downtown mall and got to know it quite well. There was this wicked rock store inside that all sorts of gothic and punk rock inspired goods. Everything I wanted there was sold out in my size :( But definitely the best store in the mall. I ended up adding a couple things to my already overflowing suitcase as well as buying a wicked purse, that's a bit like an early 90s style mini-backpack. Remember those!? It's awesome! I've used it everyday since.

One day I sat for an hour or so at the Parliament buildings. I didn't want to go inside, but I quite enjoyed the view from the lawn.

I also went to see the Museum of British Columbia. The first exhibit was my favourite. It was exhibit all about climate change. There were a tonne of interactive displays to play with. Most of them demonstrated the changes that will occur in Western Canada over the next forty years. That exhibit went hand in hand and blended well into their wildlife exhibit. This one was full of taxidermy. There was displays that were set up exactly like a scene on the beach or in the forest. These displays were full of plants and animals, and lots of posters explaining what thing was in each scene. This ran into a mock submarine, and demonstrated all sorts of undersea life. The submarine was great for kids, there was a giant fish tank with over twenty different species of fish inside. There were lots of game-like interactive modules, a steering wheel, submarine binoculars, and even the thing you pull on to make the ship go faster.

They had another more historic exhibit all about the natives and early settlers of BC. This showed a lot of ancient totem poles (actual totems), cave scrapings and drawing, old pottery, clothing, rituals. The was a life-size log cabin and life size igloo. They showed the different layers of the Igloo and how it was built.

The last exhibit started by showing Victoria through the last hundred years. It had different displays for every ten years. I wanted to curl up inside this one, it was so nalotalgic for me. Do you remember this stuff? Skateboards were one side curved up, floppy disks, reboots: Megabyte, Hexidecimal, and Enzo, The X-Files (there is the script from the pilot hidden in there), Super Nintendo and Mario bros., Cellular telephones, star wars trading cards, dock martins, pogo, teenage mutant ninja turtles, pikachu, platform shoes, the list goes on and on…..

After the display cases with the centuries, there was a life-size replica of Victoria in the early 1900s. They had re-created the cobble streets and filled all the shops so that when one looked in you could see everything that was in there as it would have been in the early 1900s. My favourite was the apothecary, full of tiny little bottles, and the doctors tools clearly displayed in the window. They had little alleys, bedrooms, a train station, a boat, a fishery, a mine, a sawmill, a hotel, a cinema (playing silent Charlie Chaplain movies).

Simon also took me to his nearby mall one day so we could grab some food and what-nots. Trying on funny hats, yes I was!

We ended up practically chilling all week, going to different pubs each night. I had a great time with Simon. We even had some early nights. One night we were tired and had planned to go out, but we quickly realized that we were not match for the absinthe swirling in our heads. Simon passed out, and I piled all the couch cousins on top of him. The I jumped on top! Just like my brother and I used to do when we were little. He didn't like that too much, but didn't really move either.

I wanted to stay and hang out more in Victoria with Simon and his friends, but I knew I had to be moving along. Simon had an exam to write, and I had some more cities to see.

I've been enjoying too much and not updating this blog!!

2010-05-04T22:22:00.000-07:00

April, 15th, 2010

Victoria passed by in a blur.

The ferry and bus ride there was a couple hours that seemed to whirl by. I definitely noticed how green everything became and how quickly it did so. However, it was hard to see much from the ferry just because it was overcast and so rainy. (Oh Vancouver!)

I remember sitting in the bus depot, waiting for Simon to come get me… I felt like falling asleep, and debated doing so, knowing he would wake me up when he got there. I didn't, but struggled to keep my eyes open.

When we got to his place I took a nap to help me with some energy lost during the train party the night before.

Then it began…. the endless string of bar hopping.

We started at a happen' micro-brewery with a live band. I called them the funky shirts. They were a group of slightly older guys (50s - 60s) who all wore really crazy shirts. But man, they were playing a whole lot of classics and they had everyone singing along and dancing. Their musicianship wasn't top notch, but their energy was.

Simon and I had dinner there. SpongeBob didn't like the beer, but we kept him quiet, and us from getting kicked out. Some of Simon's friends showed up and eventually we ventured on to greener pastures. Only the cow's were dead, and the pasture was burnt to the ground.

We went to the James Joyce (which is nothing like the one in Toronto). It was a pool hall and restaurant/cafe. Simon and one of his friends went to play pool, while the rest of us sat around drinking and chatting. It was a quite, bright atmosphere. I wanted to go back to the dark lively bar. We chilled there until last call. Simon was in party mode, but the rest of us were starting to crash. He unwillingly lead me to the Cab line.

Now when I say Cab line, I think (toronto- terms) a line of Cabs waiting to transport people. In Victoria, a cab line is a line of people waiting for a Cab. Most of these people are drunk, belligerent kids who have to get home after the bar. We saw some stupid interesting characters, but I was ready to get to a bed (or in my case, a couch) and in no mood for Shenanigans.

These were so pretty rad ducks, they were just chilling on the sidewalk like it was usually... that is until Simon scared them away.

April, 16th, 2010

The following day Simon showed me how to get downtown, and took me to the harbour. There were lots of sidewalk vendors and tonnes of buskers, each with a different approach, and different genre of music.

It was pretty there, with all the flowers, and the boats resting in the harbour. The people seemed a lot more relaxed, and there were MANY tourists. It seemed a bit like Jasper, only in the sense that everything is geared towards the tourists.

We ventured to a couple book stores, and ended up grabbing some lunch at a chain restaurant. Has anyone noticed that a lot of chain restaurants decorate their bathrooms, to make them extreme? Not only did this one look like some crazy Texan's living room, but the toilets were crazy!! They had plastic wrapped around the seat which would feed through a machine to give a sterile surface each and every time. To flush it, there was a metal button on the floor, a couple steps away from the toilet, which one would step on. Sorry to bored you with the details of this washroom… but it was new to me!

Caesars were on special, and we felt it was our only duty to have some with our lunch/dinner.

While we sat on the patio there was this car full of dogs that was on the road right out front of the restaurant. The owners left the back window wide open, and if the big dog really wanted to, it could have easily jumped out. I kept calling to him in a friendly voice, trying to coax him out, while Simon kept telling him to stay.

We tried to figure out his name. We kept calling out different names, "Paul? Jack? Ralph? Joe? George?Fred? Frank? Jerry? Gerald?" the list went on and on. Sammy seemed to suit him, and I decided on that name, although Simon wasn't satisfied with that.

There was also a cute little dog in the front of the truck. It had some confidence issues though, because it felt the need to bark and growl at everything it saw, I guess it was to make up for her lack in size. She was quite yappy, and although I preferred her size, we both preferred the attitude of Sammy.

After a few too many drinks, and a great meal, we headed on our way.

This evening we had a party in the beach. We met a couple of Simon's friend, watched the sun go down, and made a fire.

There were these crazy people swimming. It was about maybe 7 degrees or so, and here these people are swimming away in the dark. When they were done, they came to borrow our fire's warmth. I asked them why they had decided to go. They then showed me the electrolytes.

Essentially at different times of the year these bacteria get some kind of charge with positive ions. It they encounter friction, they light up for a split second, kind of like a fire fly. We were moving our hands about the water for a about a good ten minutes just watching it light up.

There was lots of chatting, and drinking, and joking. The worse joke of the evening was putting this dead loon's body into the fire. The poor thing's neck was broken and it's body was completely waterlogged. Made me sad to look at, but took a while to look away.

The greatest thing we did was roll a giant stump down to the pit, only for the fire to nearly penetrate it. It took six of us at one point to get it to where we headed it. It was a GIANT stump!

Once it got too late for the Victorian's we put out the fire. Simon and I decided we would walk back to his place from the beach. It was about a two hour walk, but we had booze, we weren't tired, weren't cold, and ready for the challenge.

It was quite an epic walk! The terrain went through all sorts of changes, as we walked through the suburbs of Victoria.

We also had a very long talk, more so than in the past, and although no psychological issues were solved, I think we both enjoyed just chatting about stuff that had been on our minds for weeks, months, and years.

Travelling for so long, it was sure nice to have a chat with an old friend who had known me for so long, and I didn't have to continually explain each detail of the story to.

We stopped on UVic to have a cigar, and refill our drinks. At this point we realized we had been drinking for about twelve hours straight. This thought was hilarious to both of us.

So we took some "we should look like this after twelve hours straight".

We continued on, and reached a Tim Horton's about thirty minutes later.

We both grabbed hot chocolates, spiked them, and continued walking. We got back to Simon's around 4:30, 5ish, and sat on his front steps. We smoked a cigar each and reflected on our epic walk from the beach and we rested our now sore feet.

Next Stop Victoria

2010-04-16T18:20:00.000-07:00

Leaving Jasper, I felt this sadness. Not only to be leaving the new friend I had made, but leaving my beautiful luxury hotel room , and the beauty of the landscape. I was sad knowing I would be forced upon a train for about 14 hours, and not have the freedom to climb up the side of a mountain anytime I chose to.

I took one of the few seats left available, settled myself and began to write.

I wrote a little… but wasn't quite in the mood. I put my laptop away, and headed up to the dome car to say goodbye to the mountains as we drove out of them.

As we were passing through such beauty, and it was such a clear day out, the dome car was packed. I grabbed the only empty two-seater and like everyone else, pressed my nose against the window.

We passed through the mass mountains encompassing us on either side like giant fortresses.

Lots of people say that Mount. Robson is a sight to be seen. I wasn't quite sure I would understand that. how could it be any different from the mass structures I was already staring in awe at. When I saw it, I knew! It was larger than all the others, and we practically drove right beneath it. The dome car has glass ceilings, and as I peered directly up, I felt as though I was at the base of the CN tower. The mountain is so high, that it usually creates it's own weather, and is only visible between 9 - 14 days a year. I was lucky, it was one of those remarkable days.

I stayed in the dome car for a couple hours as we slowly headed out of the mountains. There was a polite Spanish exchange student in the dome car running from side to side, with his fancy camera taking pictures of the beauty. When the car was full he asked if he could sit next to me and we started chatting. We chatted for about an hour or so, while some very misbehaved children ran around the car screaming and playing.

His name is William, and he grew up in Spain. He decided to fly to Toronto and take the train to Vancouver, where he would be going to school to study English. He eventually went to have dinner, and I stayed in the dome car for a while.

I had dinner a little later in the dinning car. I sat across from these very friendly looking people, and as I talked to them more and more, I felt like they were the parents I never had. They owned a huge house and property where their children came to visit them a lot. They were brother and sister and lived together to take care of each other. They seemed quite informative, and told me lots to do to keep busy in Victoria (which happened to be where they were headed). We chatted a lot about Ontario, and Victoria. I told them I keep my eyes out for them on the ferry, and I did.

After dinner I got back to writing. I was at in for about an hour or so when William appeared. He just happened to be occupying the seat in front of mine. He sat with me and showed me his pictures of his trip so far. He had over two-thousand pictures. We chatted a bit and headed back to the dome car. We ended up hanging out there for a couple hours and what William referred to it as, painting.

Essentially, he was setting his camera's shutter speed to be extremely slow. So the camera would be more light sensitive. We started playing with lights and what-not… here's the best of what we came up with.

After painting I met some of the other people William had been hanging out with on the train. There was a wicked lady, a trucker, with an awesome personality. She was snappy, and witty, liked to drink, smoke and have a good time. She was in her late 30s, and travelling across Canada to pick up a truck and drive it back.

There was Hugh, a 19-year-old Montreal born frenchman. He had a "Gangster" (his words , not mine) attitude, attire, and demeanour. His english wasn't very good, and he didn't try as hard as William to understand. He had decided to walk across Canada. He was starting in Vancouver, and walking back to Montreal. Seemed like a crazy trip, but even for his age, I could tell he was mentally prepared for it.

There were Jeff and Will, brothers travelling with their mom for a vacation and to visit some family. They were mildly attractive, and maybe a year older than me.

We all stepped off the train in Kamloops so they could have a couple smokes.

Once the train started up again we all headed to the luxury class's dome car. We all drank a lot, chatted and laughed as the train twisted and turned through countless tunnels. Hugh's was playing some old classic dance hits, and at one point Jeff, Will and myself were dancing to daft punk's around the world in the aisle of the dome car. It's not as easy as you think it might be as the train speeds along.

The brother's popped some mushrooms, and we kept joking about riding on a snake. Which I understood by looking out towards the front of the train, and seeing the whole thing wrapping around the mountains, and disappearing again into another tunnel.

I got back to my seat around 4. WIlliam was sleeping, and even though I said I would wake him, I didn't.

I slept for a couple hours, and heard the last call for breakfast. If it was last call, then we were pretty close to Vancouver.

Hugh, William and I sat in the dome car together chatting. There was a nervous feeling of uncertainty and excitement in the air. We joked and laughed, as we made our way to pick up our baggage. He saw Jeff and Will and say bye. I waved goodbye to the nice brother and sister I had dinner with the night before.

I said goodbye to Hugh and wished him the best of luck. It seemed pretty crazy what he was doing. However 19 was the prime male age to do so, and I know he will arrive home a different man, from the boy who started out. Or maybe he'll be like Nate, find somewhere he loves, and decide not to leave.

William and I were left. We picked up our luggage and I said goodbye. He gave me his e-mail, and I told him when I came back into Vancouver, I would let him know and we could go take pictures somewhere in the city.

I turned away and headed to my bus. Next stop Victoria.

My Date with Nate

2010-04-15T22:22:00.000-07:00

I awoke to the sound of children screaming. They were arguing with each other about something. It sounded like they broke something as well. I wondered why they were in my room. I sat up quickly confused by this thought. I sat up way too quickly and my head stung. I realized the children were actually in the television. Children in TV appear louder than they actually are.

I lurched across the hotel room and shut it off. I closed the curtains and shut out the blinding light of the sun. With my head swirling, I clambered back over to my bed. 9:20, OUCH!

My phone beeped.

The neighbours were in the doorway.

The housekeeping was vacuuming above me.

My phone beeped.

The housekeeping was cleaning the room to my left.

My phone beeped again.

I began replying to the onslaught of texts.

The housekeeping was cleaning the room to my right.

At about 11:15 I stopped trying to sleep. I felt horrible, but I knew sleeping was not an option. I got up slowly, and wondered why it was that my head hurt extremely so. I went to the living room and checked out the bottle of gin. Half gone, ah, it all makes sense now.

I quite slowly showered and tried to drink a hell of a lot of water. I was a mess.

One of the texts I had received was from Nate, "Breakfast?"

I remembered we had planned a day of breakfast cooked by the cook. Then hiking through the mountains on the opposite side of town from where I had been the day before.

I headed back across town and had some breakfast at his place. Water, scrambled eggs, water, hash browns, and water. I met a couple of his roommates. Seemed like fun guys, good sense of humours. Two of them were in much worse shape that me. Apparently they had got to a different after-hours party, one that was only a split-second thought the night before.

After breaky we headed out to the mountains. We crossed the Athabaska river and had to stop and marvel at the view.

We hiked a little over half way up the path, and I felt like I was dying. We stopped for a break to drink some water, and catch our breath. We sat on some rocks and were chatting. All of the sudden it felt like someone was right behind us. I turned around and saw a whole lot of someones. In fact it was a whole heard of goats. They were about six or seven metres from us grazing away, not minding us being there at all. I thought it was so great and I couldn't stop staring at them. We sat amongst the herd for about twenty minutes before continuing our climb to the top.

Once there the view was spectacular. Jasper looked so tiny and quaint, nestled snugly in the landscape. We sat up top there for at least an hour.Afterwards he lead me down to a nearby lake. The water was so clear and beautifully coloured. We sat by the lake for some time.

I could not have asked for better weather. The sun was shinning, hardly any clouds. There was a light cool breeze that whistled in fresh cool air off the mountains. The conversation was one of the best. Nate is a great guy to talk to. We spoke about family, video games, cartoons, movies, economy, society, politics, spiritually, tv shows, and must have laughed most of the day away. He's got great views on the world, and keeps strong open-minded opinions about the way the world is. Not to mention has great stories to share.

We walked back into town and were faced with some Elk. I've never seen Elk before, and was completely impressed with their massive size and calm attitude. The only time I've ever seen Elk before was at High Park Zoo, and they were not half as close. We walked within 10 feet of them. Nate was not impressed at all. He actually seemed a bit annoyed with the Elk, like they were in the way and should stay out of town. They were grazing on some grass about a block away from downtown.

We walked back downtown and I headed back to hotel to start packing up my stuff. I fell asleep for a while, and awoke to a text from Nate asking if i wanted to watch a movie.

I went over to his place and we ordered a pizza, and watched Sherlock Holmes. I feel it's a really well done movie, and I quite enjoyed it.

Afterwards he asked me to stay the night, and although I considered the thought I declined and he walked me back to my hotel. We said our goodbyes and I said goodnight to the mountains for the last time.

Jasper

2010-04-14T23:29:00.000-07:00

I awoke feeling refreshed. I think I slept about twelve hours or so. I felt happy still and was excited about the day ahead of me. I ran over to the window and pulled back the curtains. They were still there, it wasn't a dream, "Good morning Mountains," I said I headed to the shower.

One of the first things I noticed about this town (other than the distraction of the mountains), was that it has a lot of cobblestone. A lot of the building have stones in their walls. Also there are these benches. They look like something from the Flinstones. I giggle at them but I really enjoy the way they look.

I went for breakfast. I ended up at this place on the main strip. They were actually done breakfast so I had some soup and a sandwich.

After I ate I headed through town to the museum. It was closed. It made me a little sad, museum number two I have missed. Directly behind the museum was some nature trails which lead into the foothills and into the mountains. OH FUN!

I looked at the map… Which way… twenty mile loop or nine kms to Pyramid lake. I decided pyramid lake sounded not only easier, but the reward of a lake was at the end.

Within two minutes I was in the forrest. I could no longer see the town, and all I could see was the forrest around me. There was this one rock I passed where I was sure there was a face in it. Did Medusa trap a man inside thousands of years ago? Do you see it?

As I followed along the path I watched the town of Jasper get smaller and smaller. I marvelled at how it existed perfectly with nature completely surrounding it.

I walked along in peace for about an hour or so. I had lots of time to think, and it was so nice to be alone, uninterrupted with my thoughts. I looked over the last year in my mind, and it helped me to better understand myself and my wants in life. I didn't get anything figured out, or come to an epiphany, but it was really nice to have some quiet to think.

SpongeBob and I had some fun staking rocks. I always love the way these mini statues look. Inukshuks!

Every jogger I passed in the woods said hello. All of them were with someone or had a dog with them. I thought it was kind of dumb to go alone. Not only are these woods full of wildlife, but I saw, on a number of occasions, bear prints in the mud.

I eventually ended up in Patricia Lake. It was nothing short of spectacular. The lake was frozen over and the contrast of green trees and hills between the mountains, sky, and lake was breathtaking.

I sat on the lake for about twenty minutes or so. Mouth-gaping stare I'm sure the whole time. Spongy got excited that we were at a lake and kept talking about searching for his pineapple. Eventually he got really excited and tried diving in. It took a bump on the head and twenty minutes of explanation before he understood the lake was frozen.

On the way back I took a detour. Took a path that looped around a different part of the woods. Was I ever happy that I did, for the trail winded further and further up the hill. The view was great and the rolling hills reminded of a bright eyed child, or little house on the prairie. I imaged running up the hill with my hair in pig-tails crying, "pa-pa! Pa-pa!"

The path went back and forth and slowly scaled back down the side of the mountain. I kept marvelling at how steep the slopes were (the ones I was staring right beside).

Not a trail? REALLY!? It certain looks like a tire rim to me. Hum?

I got back from my little hike just in time to watch Buffy… Oh how I love that show! Especially the old episodes.

I killed a bit of time and watched a silly 80s movie about a cross-dressing college kid.

Then I headed to the main strip for dinner. I sat at the bar and had a delicious steak, with some mashed potatoes and asparagus. I took my time there, it had a fun youthful vibe. I decided that I would have some desert, but what I wanted they did not have, so I opted for a glass of port instead (Taylor 20, my face!). I asked for a glass, but what I got was a bucket. The bartender poured me about 9oz. (For those who don't know, 2oz. of pour is equal to one drink). I was shocked, but knew I would enjoy it. When I headed out for a cigar, the bartender came out for a smoke and asked me to come with him to the nearby club (Pete's). He was a good looking, friendly English chap, and we were hitting it off chatting all evening. I decided I would hang out till he was done and follow him over.

Upon getting back inside I met one of the cooks who was at the bar. The bartender had poured him a pint and threw a couple shots of Hyphynoptic in it. It smelt strange, but he said it didn't taste terrible. We started chatting a bit, and I found out he was from Barrie. He seemed nice enough and told me he would see me over at Pete's.

Once the bartender and the manager were finished closing up, we all headed over. I got stopped at the door and asked for ID. I presented my health card, and his response was, "I don't take healthcard's." He wouldn't even look at it, and I had nothing else. I guess I wasn't getting in there.

I began my walk back to hotel. It was probably time to head back anyways, my head was swirling with all the port and drinks before that. I didn't even get a block when I heard someone calling my name. "No one knows me in Jasper," I thought to myself. I saw that it was the cook that I had been talking to at the restaurant. He asked me why I wasn't at Pete's already and I explained.

He didn't seem phased at all. "Let's go over here," and we continued walking.

He took me to a nearby pub and we grab a drink. We chatted some more and laughed an what not. Some of his friends invited us to a party just after last call. I said YES! But it was decided if we were to go to a party that booze was in order. We went to another hotel, or bar type place and bought a bottle of gin. It definitely was sketchy. (sorry daddy)

Then it was decided that one wold need juice with said gin and so the cook and I made a detour to the Mac's Mart. It was weird, the town had felt empty and quiet since I arrived, but during this time people were running around everywhere. The bar we went to, the sketchy hotel/bar, the club I couldn't get into, and the Mac's Mart were full of people having good times. Man, does Jasper ever come alive at night.

The cook, Nate, lead me to his place, and very much discouraged me from going to the party. He said that it would be twelve guys in a garage doing coke all night. I was still down for going, it was twelve guys I didn't know and could chat with while I got drunk. (Not that I was or anything at this point).

We ended up chilling at Nate's wicked apartment till stupid o'clock. Chatting, drinking, laughing. I remember we watched some BAD music videos.

I got back to my hotel at 5:30am.

We'll be coming 'round the mountain

2010-04-13T21:54:00.000-07:00

I awoke again the the train stopping... The train going in fine... but the stops are when I wake up. I felt like we stopped a lot last night. If I can get back to sleep when we are stopped, the motion when we continue allows me to keep on sleeping.
Early this morning we arrived in Edmonton. That guy slept through and once again didn't buy his ticket... I wonder what's going to happen with that.
I decided I better go for breakfast... my tummy was crying!
Once I got in the dinning car I met Josie. A middle-aged interior designer who was taking a bit of a break between companies. She looked fresh faced and well-slept. I could tell she had just gotten on the train.
We were joined by Katie, a retired teacher, with very short red hair, drawn-on eyebrows and a no-nonsense Scottish attitude. They had both left their husbands at home, and decided to travel; Katie for the romance of the train trip she had dreamed about for twenty years. Josie for a break from her life and work. The three of us had a chat about compromise in a marriage. We all agreed that a necessary level of compromise was essential for success of a relationship. However, if you compromise far too much than you begin to lose yourself. While compromise is key, one must ascertain themselves and do the things that make them happy and complete as a person.
After leaving the breakfast table, the conversations lesson remained in my thoughts. I wondered where the lines of comprise could be blurred, and if a relationship could really exist under the ideas of comprise even if it wasn't meant to be.
Josie and Katie were preaching the responsibilities of comprise and marriages, important lessons, yes... I couldn't help but notice that Josie was not wearing her wedding ring. Now my question is: how does one preach the responsibilities of comprimise and success of a marriage, but yet do not wear the ring. Not only that, but what exactly was she planning to do on this trip. I do not judge, for everyone needs some excitement in their life. It just struck me as odd. I wanted to ask her about it, but knew it would be inappropriate.
I went back to my seat, and took a brief nap. It being only about 8:00am at this point.

When I awoke, I headed into the dome car. I wanted a good seat and a good view for the entrance of the mountains. It was raining, and pretty overcast outside. Gloomy kind of day, and I did hope that the mountains might be visible. The dome car was much more social than it had been in previous days. There was about six or seven or us in there all sitting alone, but carrying on a conversation about many things. We were all quite different people from different walks of life, and each of us had some different to add to different parts of the conversation. Especially on the idea of legalizing marijuana use.

There was one lady in particularly who was so well versed in the world, and great to talk to. When the dome car began to get busy, I sat with her. She was interesting because she knew so many different things about art, artists, writers, books, authors, travel, nature vs. society.. and the list goes on and on.

The vibe in the dome car was great. Everyone was excited and in a positive chatty mood. As we got closer to the mountains it cleared up, and the rain was gone.

Right after leaving HInton we began to see the mountains in the distance.

As they got closer and closer everyone could not help but gasp and marvel at their beauty. All these glistening peaks, getting closer and closer.

We pasted by lakes, and the Athabasca River. The river seemed so clean and green. I could also tell that it expanded much further than where it was. As if during the summer, it was over three times the width then what it is at currently.

Everyone was chatting about the region and the mountains. Everyone had their cameras out taking pictures. We travelled in this happy bliss for about an hour or so. Every so often the man the operates the take-out car, Raman, would come up into the car and tell us something educational about what we were seeing, or what was coming up next.

He told us about this one mountain. It's one of the most popular in the region. It's called mount Roage (not sure if that's the right name), but to the locals it's now as Old Man or Pocahontas. Can you see the face? I thought it was neat how the terrain was naturally eroded that way.

I realized all of the sudden that Jasper sits right in the middle of all these mountains. I got so pumped just thinking about being immersed inside of all of these wondrous beauties.

I can not describe to you the feeling when I got off of the train. It was something I can not describe, I can only say that I was completely overwhelmed with the extreme closeness of the mountains, and their size. The air was fresher, people everywhere were smiling and excited. I got my luggage and walked across town to my hotel. I was simply in awe, and could not stop staring at the landscape. For everywhere I looked a beautiful mountain was hovering in the distance, as if smiling and welcoming me.

I dropped off my stuff and went out for lunch. I was starving and craving pizza. Turns out in Jasper, there is only one place where you can get a slice of pizza, and I couldn't find it. I ended up getting a small hawaiian and enjoying it's fresh baked deliciousness. Fresh home-made tomato sauce on a perfectly cooked crust, with the perfect amount of toppings. One of the best pizza's I've had.

I took an hour long walk up and down the side streets to explore. They have two main streets, and a bunch of residential streets. Jasper is an amazingly clean town as I saw NO garbage anywhere at all. I think this is due to it being a National Park, and the people that live there help to preserve it.

I was walking past a retirement home, a noticed a cute man ahead of me. He was shuffling along the sidewalk with a stick in his hand. The stick had a rope tied to it, and the rope was strapped around his wrist (In case he dropped it, he wouldn't have to bend down and pick it up). He said "hello there" and I said hello back. I mentioned the nice weather we were having was (it was about 14 degrees) and I was still in full awe about the mountains. He stared to tell me about how he has such a hard time going outside, but had to come out today because of the weather, and to say hello to the mountains. I liked him, and we exchanged a few more words before continuing on my adventurous walk. It was so quite and peaceful everywhere and the town seemed to have a permanent feeling of bliss hovering above it.

I passed the elementary school and heard some kid whining at his brother that he "didn't want to go home". I thought that if home was away from the landscape, then I completely understood why.

Once I had wandered all through the side streets and through the main part of town twice, I decided to head back to the hotel. I was inspired to write.

I relaxed completely, couldn't help it when the vibe was so present throughout the town.

I watched the sunset from my balcony and the mountains slowly disappear into the night.

FORTress of Solitude

2010-04-12T22:00:00.000-07:00

There's a cute old man who's sitting across from me. I know, I know, I always think the elderly are cute…. but they are. Maybe that's why I'm enjoying this trip so much, so many cute and interesting elderly people to look at.

Anywho… when we pulled out of Winnipeg he raced over to my side of the train and pressed his face against the glass and started waving. We past by his apartment building and his roommate was on the balcony waving too. I couldn't quite tell if his roommate had seen him, but as we passed his waves got more aggressive, so I told him I thought he had. We got into a bit of a nice chat about the different markets around Canada. Comparing The Forks (Winnipeg), St.Lawerence (Toronto), and Grandville Island (Vancouver). He is retired and likes to travel the rails now as a means of entertainment because his cost of living is a little low. He has some family in Missasagau and seems to know a bit about the different areas in Toronto. It was to talk about something familiar. I gave him directions to check out mini-China town on Broadview (he asked), as well as Riverdale Farm and that giant Riverdale park.

I did a couple silly things on this train trip. Firstly they wouldn't turn off the goddamn search lights! Ok, not search lights, but blinding overhead lights for the whole coach car. I was sleepy and the blanket over my head was NOT working this time. I built myself a little fort. Everyone was looking at me strangely who walks by. But i do my evil laugh to myself and say, "Suckers! They wish they had their own fort to sleep in!" SpongeBob loves it! I'm ready to take it down, but he won't let me.

There is another man, in a couple seats in front of me. He came on without a ticket. He was instructed to pick one up in Sasktoon. He went to the dome car instead. Let's see if he gets on in Edmonton, or if he can make it to Kamloops for free.

We just passed through Wainwright. I look out the window and once again see snow. I shutter at the thought that Jasper might have snow still. I've been checking the weather, and they have been around and above ten degrees for a couple weeks now… but snow I still fear. I think mainly because I do not have the approbate clothing to deal with said weather conditions.

It's almost 4am, and all my coach-mates are asleep. I was awaken to the sound of my phone receiving signal once again, and receiving 11 texts, 4 e-mails, and 2 voicemails. I LOVE YOU GUYZ! My coach-mates looked annoyed, and I was embarrassed, but happy to know you guy are wondering about me. If anyone would like to send me an e-mail with updates on how you are, that would be great! I would love to hear from you and see how things are going for you.

Quite mental breaks from trying so hard to sleep are good. It also allows me to write silly entertaining things to myself. I hope you are enjoying reading these entries… if not, oh well! I am:p

Passing through the prairies at night is interesting. It's so dark, and all you can see are a few specks on light on the far distant horizon. I read in my rail-guide, that they purposely go through the parries at night to avoid people from getting prairie fever. It's supposedly so flat and boring, that people need a mental break from it. Oh mental break!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I think I'm gonna go back into my fort now, or as Luke would call it, my "Fortress of Solitude", and try to get a little more sleep. Nighty!

Car Graveyard

2010-04-12T16:15:00.000-07:00

I turned my alarm off this morning for what seemed to be the 20th time. I realized I could delay it no more… I must get up and leave Winnipeg.

I showered, gathered all my stuff, and checked out. I hit a coffee shop along the way and picked up a muffin for the train ride.

Although I slept in too long, and couldn't go out for breakfast, I did have some extra time before the train left the station. I headed back over to Forks. I picked up some fresh fruit, and a sandwich (and a brownie…shhhhh!) for the train ride. I once again walked along the historic nature walk.

This time I decided to stop and chat with the locals. SpongeBob called them wild animals, but they seemed pretty civil. I saw this awesome billboard overtop of the bridge to cross the river.

It was peaceful to listen to the river flow along, and watch it slowly trickle along.

Said my Goodbye to Winnipeg!

I got to the station early, hoping to get a good seat on the train. There was a huge group (20ish) of kids there. Maybe not kids, but late teens (14 - 17). I looked over at them throwing things at each other, playing clapping games, and repeating silly names at each other.

My stomach flipped with the idea of the coach car being full of these loud teens, and I possibly having to share a seat :( I tried to get to the front of the line, getting to choose the best seat. However, Via-Rail is awesome and attached a second Coach car for the occasion. They are all in the other car. The dome car is much busier.

Right after we crossed the boarder between Manitoba and Saskatchewan we went into the Qu'Appelle Valley. This valley stretches for about twenty-five miles and was formed by the giant ice sheet that covered Canada about 12 000 years ago. I really enjoyed seeing the carving, and erosion left behind from tens of thousands of years ago. (Yeah, Nerd here!)

We had a quick stop in Melville. I jumped off the train and noticed a graveyard for old cars. I couldn't help but turn my camera off of auto, and play with the shutter speeds and what-nots to get some shots of the these beauties. Most people would think this is junk, but I really enjoyed taking these photos. I really like the way that time and circumstance can alter something's appearance to become what we see today. I love the way that the rust is eating away at the car's exteriors and how abandoned and unloved they look. I hope you enjoy these photos.

Winnipeg Wanderings

2010-04-11T23:30:00.000-07:00

I awoke this morning to a quite knock, and a voice, "housekeeping?"

I groggily answered, "please come back."

I rolled over, and the clock read 9:12am… thanks HouseKeeping devil! I felt too awake to consider going back to sleep… and besides it's my only full day to see Winnipeg. I wanted to get up and explore. However, I switched on the TV, and watched some cartoons. The warm of the bed kept me from climbing out of it for at least an hour or two.

By the time I left my hotel it was a little past noon. Using my fancy apps, I picked out a nearby breakfast place and headed North (pointed that way by my trusty phone). I was headed about four blocks to the Black Sleep Diner. Seemed pretty suiting for me:) I got to head in a new direction on my walk. I passed by the University of Winnipeg. It was a Giant brick building… not much else to say about it.. Nice bricks?

Upon my arrival to the Black Sheep Diner, it was packed! There was a line-up literally out the door. Using my knowledge of restaurants, and my year as a hostess, I did a quick table count, and realized I wouldn't be seated for at least half an hour. At this point it was almost 1pm, and I really wanted to go to the Museum, which closed at 4pm (Damn Sundays). I didn't stay there… instead I looked up another place for breakfast and headed due West.
My walk there was pretty entertaining. I saw an Elmo dolls strapped to a truck. I thought it was cute… but then I wondered what they were trying to say with it. "If you fuck with us, we will do this to you!" OR "We like to strap things down!" OR "Let's make our truck a torture chamber of death!" What do you think they are saying with this??

When I hit the coffee shop/breakfast place, it was closed… damn Sundays! Oh well.. At this point I had stumbled into an older part of town, and I could tell that some of the older buildings had historic significance. I admired the architecture, and realized that time was surely passing by. I headed back towards the downtown to see if I could find some food, and a cab to get to the musemum.

I passed this theatre, that had an amazing brick wall with so many fire escapes to nowhere. I felt that people were going to appear out of somewhere, and start rehearsing for West Side Story. I started snapping, and doing the side-step walk and singing… I realized I was alone in doing this, and a family was backing away with horrified looks on their faces, so I promptly stopped. Jess, you were totally there with me, dancing right along!

Without seeing any sort of cab or breakfast place I did the Canadian thing, and ducked into a Tim Horton's. No, my Rrrrrrrroll up the Rim to Win did not (win). It was just after 2pm now and I realized that not only was the musemum on the other side of town, but I would really only have about an hour to enjoy it.

However…. the Winnipeg Art Galley (WAG, hehehehe Wag!) was only a couple blocks away, and was open until 5pm. I felt a little bit like I was cheating or something, simply because I have never been to the AGO (Art Gallery of Ontario in Toronto). Well, anyways, here I am heading into this gallery.

They had an exhibit on called the View. It was featuring a lot of art before the 20th century. There were a lot of cool hand painted, and hand crafted dishes from Canada, Britain, and China from the 1700s.

There were a lot of traditional paintings (mostly Roman, and British) from 1600s - 1800s. There were also some less traditional, more obscure paintings from the 1700s and a lot of these were Canadian.

I saw my first Emily Carr painting. Put a smile on my face to finally see some of the historic impact she has made. I've always heard the name, but didn't know anything about her.

My favourite exhibit was called,"Through the eyes of Children". It was all artwork made by children. It would tell the name and age of the child. There were oil paintings, clay sculptures, schetches, decorations, forts, costumes, all sorts of stuff.

It reminded me how inventive kids can be.

My two favourite pieces were great. One was a rocket ship/ airplane, made out of boxes, painted in different colours. There were stars and different designs stuck to all sides of it. The wings were like an airplane and painted with black and white stripes. There was a place for a small child to sit and "drive". There was a steering wheel created out of hubcap, and on the "dashboard", there were different leavers made out of handels, and the buttons to press were actually clothing buttons. This made me so happy. I wish I could have taken pictures in the Gallery, this place had such a happy nostalgic feeling.

The other piece I loved in the children's Gallery was this boat. It was a five foot tall boat made out of paper machie. The front of the boat had a giant dragon's head. It had a full mass, and sails painted in matching colours. The crew were all little paper machie people. Most of which were Vikings all different looking. Their clothing and hair was made out of cloth and different materials. One doll had a total pirate get-up, eye-patch, peg leg, bandana, striped shirt. Another was wearing a traditional viking hat, with Pippi-longstockings type braids hanging out the sides. I must have examined this boat for at least five minutes or so.

WAG was also doing a showing on Warner Bros. It showed a lot of the old illustrations from the 30s and 40s, as well as a little segmented section on each character. It was mainly Looney Toons characters… did you know Daffy Duck, and Porky Pig and older than Bugs Bunny?!? I never knew. There were a lot of write-up about all of the characters. Complete with tables on portions for illustrators to be able to redraw them.

There was a create your own toon section, and I sat down with some children for a bit to draw and colour. There was also a wall were you could hang your art, and a lot of the pictures drawn by visitors were pretty good.

Behind the drawing area, was a viewing area, they were playing Looney Toons traditional cartoons. There was more people watching the cartoons then anywhere else in the whole Gallery. I watched Silvester try to eat Tweety, and the Road Runner out smart Willi E. Coyote.

The gift shop was a lot like the gift shop at the ROM. Selling thing that have nothing to do with an art gallery or musemum; like lamps, or vases. Umberellas, or napkins. But an entertaining little shop anyways. I wanted to be a dry-erase board of the paining "the scream", but I knew I wouldn't be able to carry it home in a couple weeks, so I passed.

From there I continued wandering around downtown. I discovered this giant dog as he tried to eat SpongeBob. I came to his valiant rescue as I wrestled with him for my safe return of my Sponge. This dog is supposed to resemble these two different breeds of dog that were mixed in Winnipeg. The plaque said something like if they could survive here, then they could make it anywhere.

In my wandering I ended up in Portage Place, and bought a couple tank tops. I realized that it's a bit colder than I would have hoped and they will be good to layer up and keep me warm. Also, I noticed… for a town that no one wear's heels, they sure have a lot of shoe stores!! In the same mall they had a Payless, ShoeWarehouse, Athletes' World, Steps, and two other no-name shoe stores… I felt like I should have bought shoes or something. I did see a single person wearing heels… she didn't speak a word of English, and I assumed she was also a tourist like me.

After my shopping excursions I grabbed some dinner and headed back to my hotel. Also, my foot was killing me, having smashed it in a heavy door on Thursday before I left the city. It's pretty bruised, tender and swollen. Makes it a bit hard to walk around for more than six hours at a time.

Knowing how sleep is on the train, I wanted to get in a good night's rest. I also have planned to get up early and grab breakfast before the train, which boards at 11am. I did play some Nintendo 64, and watch some bad movies, while I packed up my stuff.

Winnipeg

2010-04-10T23:34:00.000-07:00

After the sun went down, I got comfy in my seat and watched a couple episodes of Planet Earth. I got sleepy and stretched out across my seats to nap for the evening. I was awaken every hour or so to the train stopping, either to let a freight train pass, or to let passengers on or off. Also, the attendants walking past me would wake me to as they awoke the passengers and got them ready to leave. Or welcomed the new passengers and orientated them to the train. I remember at one point being quite annoyed that we still hadn't arrived in Winnipeg.
As we stopped I noticed that some of the families were getting off the train. Little Ava, and her young momma were the first to leave at Sioux Lookout, at about midnight. Passing their empty seats heading to the washroom felt different. A couple hours later the native family mommy, daddy, brother of 7 years old and baby were the next to leave. I didn't want to lose any more of my coach mates... but then I realized.... I was next!

   I fell back to sleep an hour or so later. I awoken this morning to the sun rising in the prairies. It was such a different site from anything I'd seen before. The land stretched out for miles and miles, no hills, and no trees. I could tell that the prairies were coming because the trees kept getting shorter, and had less and less branches. The evergreens were getting so skinny.
   We arrived in Winnipeg around 7:45am. I climbed off the train, as a different kind of feeling overwhelmed me. It wasn't completely sadness for leaving my coach-mates and comfort of the train. It wasn't completely fear for being alone in a brand new city. It wasn't completely the exhaustion I felt from a lack of sleep in four days. Maybe a mix of all, with a mild bout of excitement for the trip I was about to embark on.
   From the train station I used my fancy phone to find the closest breakfast place. I ate at a Pancake house (called Pancake House). I tried their pancakes.... which made me realize as much as I like pancakes, they are never what I except them to be, and am constantly disappointed. I should really only eat pancakes when I make them. I make them to be much thinner, more like crepes, and usually add bananas. Yum! I would like some now...
   Anyways, the scrambled eggs had great flavour, the bacon was perfectly cooked. The hash browns were perfectly cooked, but could have used more seasoning... and the pancakes, were pancakes.
After breakfast I began to wander around this area of Winnipeg called "the Forks".
   I headed towards the water and noticed a giant area with a historic landmark. When I first got there, there was a fitness group using the area as their own home gym. They were running around the monument, and using the viewing benches to do exercises off of. I felt like I was bugging them, and sat by the river for a bit.
   When I was ready to, I headed back to the monument. It was this circular rock thing with these large metal arches over top of the giant half sphere. The metal was designed to allow the sun to shine different symbols through shadows and light. SpongeBob climbed up on the rock sphere and tried to decode some of the symbols. He said it resembled Squidworth's music or something... I wasn't quite listening, he tends to ramble on a wee bit from time to time.

I followed the river and discovered the Plaza. This is a nice skate park that was full of young skateboarders using the various ledges, bowls, half pipes, and ramps. The coolest thing I saw was this hill type thing. It went up and down like a wave, and I kicked around for a bit to see if anyone would ride on it. No one did. This park was the biggest skate board park I've ever seen, with the most equipment. It was entertaining to watch. Although I did notice the age of the skaters were much younger than what I would expect. Usually at the Bathurst skate park is anywhere from 15 - 30 year olds, where at this park were 10 - 16 year olds. Much younger kids.
After watching the kids skate for a bit and realizing I missed skating with my brother, I left the park and decided to follow the river. There was a nice nature path that I followed along. It was peaceful. The river was overflown and a lot of the paths down to it were chained off and closed due to flooding. It was slow moving, and seemed like it had only recently unthawed.

   I stumbled upon another monument of sorts. At first I thought it was these weird copper pipes pointing to the sky. As I got closer I noticed it was huge. There were steps leading down in the centre. I was so confused as to what it was. In all directions the copper pipes were set up circling the huge area. In the very centre was a circular sun. There were plaques all around the centre. As I went over to read the plagues I noticed each one was about different constellations. It told when they would be the most visible, and a little bit about their historic significance.
   I realized that each of the copper pipes pointed out the constellations, and if you stood on top of the sun in the centre, you could clearly see these sites. I thought this was grand! It was something I was very interested in, and I wished that my hotel was closer to here so I could have gone there and saw all the different figures in the sky.
   I then wandered around the Forks market for a couple hours. It's kind of on par with St. Lawerence Market, only slightly more pricey, due to mainly tourists. I liked checking out all the specialty shops, and seeing all the organic produce. I spent about an hour in this antique market. It was full of items 50 years old and older (at least that's what they promised). The antiques market reminded me of my father's house. I saw a lot of similar dishes, decorative ornaments, blue cobalt glass (he collects this) which became popular in the 1950s. It made me wish to see him.
   Eventually I made my way back to the train station and picked up my luggage. I started my walk to my hotel. Two people along the way asked me if I was headed home. I smiled... the whole time I was wondering around Forks I felt like people were staring at me. For one, I noticed that NO ONE in this town wears heels. So my clip, clip, clop, as I walked certainly attracted people's eyes. I also haven't seen anyone in my age range who wasn't native. I was probably the only red-haired girl running around the city. But people asking me if I was headed home... well, I guess I really didn't stand out that much.
I walked uptown, getting a chance to see some of the city. I found out where the shopping centre was, where some places to have dinner and what-nots.
   I checked into my hotel, no issues, and finally got to shower. SO AMAZING!! Having space to spread out my belongings and having access to my giant suitcase was great.
   I took a brief nap and headed out for dinner. I went to a casual pub and sat at the bar. Had me some wine and dinner. Got into a bit of a chat about the Leafs with Captain Hook... He wasn't Captain Hook, I don't remember his real name... but he was this 47 year old guy with a hook for a hand. Our chat was quite brief, as I was ready to head back to my hotel.
Once here I called my brother and we chatted for a while. Then my exhaustion got the better of me and I fell asleep watching Doctor Who. Hehehe

Choo Chooo

2010-04-09T21:00:00.000-07:00

Throughout today the dismal winter was transformed into a more recognizable atmosphere. Vast forests of skinny evergreens lead way to breaks of rich lakes, and rivers. I took a moment to watch the sun dance across the lake and remembered that these moments are often passed up and not savoured.

Earlier today we stopped in Hornepayne. This was the Hornepayne "landmark", an old silo, forgotten and abandoned. This was an hour and a half stop, and practically everyone piled off the train for some fresh air. It was quite snowy, but the sun filled the air with such warmth that I hardly noticed at all. SpongeBob was afraid to get himself wet with snow (Hence being a Sponge), and I had to coax him off the train.
The employees helped the children (passengers) to make snowmen as they cheerly chatted about Canadian climate and culture.
Everyone looked so happy to be off the train and enjoying the sunshine and fresh air.
My boots, being far from waterproof, stopped me from venturing too far from the train. However I did find this old train station building which was also abandoned. All the windows were either smashed or boarded up with beautiful pictures painted over the windows. Something about the old bricks and hand-painted frames drew me towards this building, where I felt it contained a certain kind of magic.

At lunch I sat with a young couple who had a seven month old baby. Cutest little drooling thing he was. The mother had to put the child down (to nap), and I chatted with the father while I enjoyed my lunch. He worked for via rail and was taking the trip with his girlfriend to kill some time in his schedule before the busy tourist season started up. He was typically french (montreal), with only a slight accent, and I could tell he was liking the opportunity to work on his English.

SpongeBob and myself spent most of the day in the dome car watching Ontario pass by in all it's grand beauty. I started working on a new knitting project (GO ME!!), which made me get motion sickness and hence took a well-deserved nap.

Since we hit Winter in Sudbury at 5am last night I have not had any phone signal :( I think it should come back once we get back into civilization (probably tomorrow morning when I hit Winnipeg). I was enjoying pulling up my location on my fancy phone and seeing exactly where I was… Now I get to guess.

I decided to once again visit the dinning car for dinner. I had a delicious cut of AAA Prime Rib and a glass of crappy Pinot Noir. The company was great. One quite nice and friendly retired salesman on his way to Vancouver (Courtney actually) to visit his son. He was full of world-knowledge, let me also say a plethora of knowledge for the rails, especially this trip (this being his 5th or 6th time doing it).

There was a nice mid aged woman who was moving to Edmonton to become a nurse. She was very supportive of my future attitude of career choice. She had told me about the many different careers she had ventured into, looking for the "right path", for herself.

We also had a middle-aged gentlemen who worked for companies to help clean up old industrial sites. He lived in Vancouver, and was taking the train home after flying to Toronto.

I felt like they were a little shocked by my age, and idea to take this trip alone, however I do not feel that they looked down at me in any way. I rather enjoyed my chats with them and I left dinner feeling full, satisfied and with a bigger smile on my face.

The biggest difference I notice between the train and the plane is that it forces you to relax. You must relax completely in order to sleep between the jarring of the cars, and the constant blowing of the horn. I'm a light sleeper, and each and every time someone walks past me in the aisle, I am awaken. Not only that, but you have to wait…. it takes forever to get to where you are going, and it forces you to slow down and relax… it's not like you can go anywhere. The other huge difference is the staff. They are friendly, fun, and have their own personalities. I notice everyone is smiling. You WILL NOT see that on the plane.

My coach-mates are fine. Not loud or annoying in anyway. There are a couple young kids, who I think are quite well behaved under the circumstances. We just stopped for a "smoke-break" in Armstrong, where I picked up my first item to carry home. It is an old copper peg used to secure the wooden rails to the tracks. Now I'm in the dome car, ready to watch the night pass by seamlessly and Winnipeg to be my adventure of tomorrow.

I'm a little sad to be getting off of the train. It feels like this is a comfy little home away from home, full of familiar smiling faces.
But first, the sleep!

Not in Kanas anymore

2010-04-09T12:12:00.000-07:00

I awoke this morning around 5am when the train arrived in Sudbury. The couple of inches of snow startled me… are we not finished with winter already?

After a brief stop over the train began chug-a-luging again… When I awoke later I have discovered that we are now on our way toHornepayne, circling around the northern side of lake Superior.

Not only did I discover that we were a lot farer North, but we are also in a lot more winter. What began as only a couple inches seems to have multiplied rapidly with our increasing northernly direction. I am now looking at forests blanketed with between three to five feet of snow. The delicate white powder continues to fall from the sky. Every branch has snow on it, and it seems to be the very picturesque vision of an Ansel Adams photo.

Simply said, it is winter in it's finest. Everything covered in snow, rivers and creeks frozen over, and a warm hot chocolate in my hand.

Interview me

2010-01-21T17:29:00.000-08:00

So far I think I've been doing a decent job at my new position. Some days are much more trying than others, but I do what I can. When I first started doing the position I could tell the owners didn't trust me, and were really nervous that I wouldn't cut it. Lately they've been hanging around me less, and asking more of me. Each day I get a little nervous when the boss walks in, because I fear he will ask more of me, and I will still have to get all of this extra work done, not to mention my old responsibilities as well.
In the last week one of the oldest employees quit, and I was asked to "get someone". I set up a bunch of interviews when the boss told me when he wanted them booked in.
Ten minutes before the first interview I called him to ensure he would be showing up. He told me he was busy and to do them. In the last two days I've conduced eight interviews. I tried to keep it interesting, mixed it up a bit, and listen to them. I've decided I don't like the idea of having to screen people. Most of the people I spoke with were strong minded, well sorted and had so many aspirations, goals, and dreams. As people, there were really only two, that I thought were not amazing. The two with the loudest personalities, have schedules that don't completely comply with what we are looking for. The two others are tied for the job right now, are both equally qualified, with good experience, good wine knowledge, and seem that they would both fit in with the restaurant well.
The owner said if I couldn't choose he would choose. I'm suppose to book them in for their second "interviews" on Monday. I hope the owner shows up. I'm not good at saying no, and I feel as though now I must say no to a whole bunch of people.
I did not sign up for this, and I do not enjoy having extra responsibilities just dropped on me. Yes, I do continually rise to the occasion. Yes it does make me a better, stronger worker...
I have slowed down on the drinking. Having to be up each and every morning at 6am makes it a bit difficult to meet up with my friends who only begin to go out at 10pm. My social life is not really happening right now, which is okay because my home life is a disaster. I am so far behind on so many of the little things I have to do. I keep telling myself I will get to it, but never do... eep!
In the last week I have played catch-up with a couple old friends. Annoyance came at one, when I could clearly tell they were not listening to me. For one who was insistent on chatting and catching up, it was clear that they have absolutely no interest in actually catching up. I couldn't help but feel sad as well. I hate when you know something isn't half of what of you thought it was.
The other friend was great, continually asking me question after question, wanting to know everything about everything, and genially interested in what I've been up to. At one point he said to me that it seemed things were pretty well put together in my life. I felt shocked by this. I feel so torn at the seams, and as if I move just the wrong way everything will just fall to pieces. I feel mentally exhausted and slightly broken. I guess my mask and facade are far more convincing than I perceive them to be. Had a great time with this friend as I always do. Thanks to REAL people. Good people! (The few that exist)

Awesome Show

2010-01-07T18:01:00.000-08:00

Last evening I returned home from work and was exhausted. I took a quick nap, and made a couple phone calls to a couple people who were suppose to be heading out later in the evening. The plan was to go see a buddy's band in a nearby venue. I was exhausted, and FORCED myself to get dressed and head out to the bar.
The show was great. I had only been in there once or twice before, and I completely forgot where the venue part of the place was. I stood at the bar for a bit and called a bunch of people who were supposed to be there. No one answered. Finally I got a little daring, and ventured around until I found the live music area and payed my fee to get in. As soon as I did, I was cornered by this regular from my work. After about ten minutes he had chatted intensively on and on about nothing, and all I wanted was to listen to the band. This was not the band I had come to see, but I still wanted to see them. I recognized a good friend I hadn't seen in months, and made my escape.
It was good convos, and I forgot how much I enjoy his company. It was nice to have a good conversation with someone who I knew wouldn't judge me. He talked about setting me up with one of his friends that sounded like fun, but I cringe at the thought of going on a date.
I wished all the boys good luck before the show, and they all thanked me for coming.
The band began to play, and they were amazing. Modern day Nirvana sound. Hard loud, grungy with a bit of a modern-day feel. I was completely into it! Rocking my head and swaying my body. It was the second time I had seen a band which consisted almost completely of my friends. To be honest I was shocked how great they were. Catchy songs, with harsh components. Melodic lines, and sexy screaming. One song really stood out, the melodies for verses and choruses were catchy, but not repetitive. Then the whole band dropped out to leave an artful but yet complex guitar lick. Then all the instruments would come back in to compliment it. At one point a mosh pit almost started, only there was too many tables nearby to necessitate enough room to do so.
During and after the show I noticed that there were many attractive young men in the room. I was running out of time, as I needed to disappear quickly after the show. I at one point almost bumped into a very rugged man to introduce my friend to, but he left before the opportunity presented itself.

New Years

2010-01-01T20:09:00.000-08:00

I am not the kind of person who likes to make New Year's resolutions. Whenever I have in the past I end up breaking them at some point during the year... then I treat them more as guidelines, until they are eventually forgotten.

I do know that my life is completely FUCKED right now in terms of taking care of myself. The endless parade of parties, drinks, bars, drinks, men, drinks, joints, drinks, drinks, and more drinks. Not to mention my complete disregard for diet or sleep schedule.

Instead of making rules to follow to better my life, I've decided to take a more so analytical approach to the new year.

2009 was not necessarily a good year for me. In January I moved into my own place. In April I started my second job, and have been working about sixty hours a week since. In June was the completion of my relationship. The summer flew by in drunken haze of socializing, drinking, parties and what-not. Through-out August and September I spent every waking

minute with a best friend. Things got complicated as they always do, and that relationship was cast away. The pain of that still hasn't quite subsided on certain days. I've also had a lot of bad luck and many disappointing social situations. Obviously there has been some good stuff too, but as a creature of the darkened world, I can't help but dwell on the negative.

My analytical side has allowed me to discover that throughout the negative quarries of 2009, there are many useful lessons that I can learn from these situations, and mistakes of the past year. Hopefully I can take these lessons with me as I grow.

Some of these include....

Be true to yourself, admit when you are unhappy, and try to change things to make yourself happy.

Keep an eye on your instincts, and stick to your standards.

Don't be afraid of your feelings.

It you want something, go after it. Don't let your fear or anyone else's stop you from what you want.

Just because it sounds like fun, think about the damage to yourself internally.

If someone isn't everything you are looking for, they are not the right person for you. Don't waste your energy.

Just another day

2009-12-28T23:02:00.000-08:00

As I finish my day with a mini bottle of champagne I am confused as to what the new day, and new year might bring. I have mixed feelings about new years eve, and I have this feeling that something quite unexpected will happen. We shall see. Whenever I thought of New years eve before I imagined working and having a good time.

New years seems like the time to start over. New year = new direction. I feel that this regular schedule, regular hours might put me on the right track to success. I need to apply to schools, and get on a healthy diet, and sleep schedule.

I went to see Sherlock Holmes today. It was a great movie. Detective with such intuitive, observational, deduction skills. Simply forgot what great characters were contained in that story. However it is Sir Arthur Conan Doyal, should we expect anything less?

It made me question my own deductive skills. I know I have very sharp observational skills, but I sometimes do not use them. I feel as though I should pay closer attention to my strong intuitive nature and observations. These are skills one is born with, but they can be developed further.

Yesterday I went rock climbing with an old friend. It was nice to hear his stories and find out how his life is progressing halfway across the country. I felt sadness knowing that he has no intention of moving back to the city. However I do feel happiness to know he is enjoying his life out there, and pursuing the career and dreams.
I like the rock climbing place. Having only been there once before I knew I would be tested on my knowledge of belaying and what-not. The guy working there actually remembered me. It was kind of weird. I had only been there once before, and of course I remembered his pretty face, but he sees a million people all the time. I was shocked he remembered me.
I get this weird feeling in the rock climbing place. I felt it when I was there before.

It's supposed to be this place where you go with your friends and have a good time. It's something to be excited about.... when I'm there, the music is blaring and everyone is chatting, encouraging and climbing... but there's this overwhelming feeling of sadness. Like if many have been lost, and much pain has passed through the walls. It could be all in my head....

While I was climbing I did well on the first couple walls. Then I started to challenge myself with harder stuff. I forgot that I have no upper body strength, and found myself struggling and falling on a couple walls. The distance between stones was physically too far for me, but I still had a good time. It makes me want to try harder next time :) Am I ever feeling the burn now though... ouchie!

numbness

2009-12-26T22:10:00.000-08:00

Today was another SSDD... Same shit different day... Once again working brunch in a restaurant. Once again talking with the same people, eating the same food, and hearing the same music.
I figured some kind of conversation might be stimulating, but it's all bland. Maybe it's due to my lack of sleep. Maybe due to my increased apathy.
I was told something today that should have mildly upset me. Instead I stared out from my empty shell, smiled and waited for the pain. It never came. It still hasn't come.
I remember sitting in Riverdale park many years ago with my friend Rudy. I was crying and asking him when the numbness would end, and when I could begin to feel again. He answered that he did not know. Eventually the feeling returned... but I remember thinking that I hated feeling numb more than I hated feeling.
In the last six months all I've wanted is to feel numb. I wanted the hurt and feelings to disappear. Now that they are gone (or slightly tucked under the corners), have I just become numb again. Things that should matter do not.
My insomnia last night was a walk through memories, and although most were of situations I wished I could have changed or altered, I did not feel pain or sorrow for any of the souls I have lost.
Being in this state seems never-ending. I can't play music, for I feel uninspired by all I do. Music also does not sound sweet.
I can not bake, for food has no taste, I eat mearly to stay alive, and to keep up the cherade that all is ok. I can not read, for my mind is unfocused, and wishes not to believe in the fairy tales. I can only write... By even that often gets torn up and tossed out.
I almost wish for the pain to return... almost.

Minefield of broken thoughts

2009-12-26T02:50:00.000-08:00

Insomnia has struck again. It seems to be the strongest when my free time is abundant. My mind is left wandering (racing) through an abandoned minefield of broken thoughts and hurt feelings.
It drifts from lost memories of my ex and good christmases; to my annoyance for letting David's warmth pass by me, without ever letting him know my side; to my brief flush with Mike, who thought things were far more than they were; to the guy I've recently crushed on who now seems to have a lack of interest in my company.... and on and on.... Here I am faced with all these thoughts of situations that I am disappointed in the results.
I sit here wondering if I could clearly sort it all out, would these unhappy feelings dissipate... Or is that a pipe-dream? I feel internally we are mirrored by our external shell. We slowly accumulate scars, we carry them with us, and over time they weigh us down.
Hopefully we are strong enough to climb out of bed and meet that battle everyday, no matter how difficult or how outnumbered you may be, you fight.
Learn from these scars, these battle wounds, they only get worse as you get older.
I feel as though my minefield is packed full of these monstrous thoughts, I have been fighting them for quite a while now. I want to lie down and let them destroy my body and mind with scars. I know I can not.

Drinks anyone?

2009-12-20T23:21:00.000-08:00

This morning I climbed into bed at 10am. Another night of ridiculous drinking until stupid-o-clock. Although I have been social for most of my life, I feel as though 2009 was a year of constant drunkenness. I feel a bit embarrassed when I think back to the amount of booze I have consumed, or all the nights which seemed never to end.
I did take a week off to detoxify my system, so I am sure that I do not have an extreme problem. But I am a little relentless in my partying. In fact this week I have gone out practically every night.
I don't really believe much in new years resolutions, but I feel that this new work position will enforce me to be more responsible with my sleep pattern, eating, and most importantly obsessive drinking in the new year. We'll see...
Last night I finished work and headed over to a friends house. i went with a couple people I work with, and some random guys that were guests in the bar that night. One was a particularly good looking young man with whom I spent the majority of the night chatting with. I knew that nothing would happen between us, and I sometimes wonder why I even try... Even still, I had a very good time all and all, and made some new friends. I also learned a very valuable lesson... if you leave the party at 7am, do not go somewhere seven times further from your own home.

Where's Christmas?

2009-12-16T10:47:00.000-08:00

I feel as though Christmas is a million miles away. It's weird to walk through the malls and see all the bright decorations, hear the music playing, but not feel it inside. Usually by this time my ex and I would have already watched all our Christmas movies, and by working through them a second time. We would have the Christmas music playing on the radio, and be dancing and decorating. I realized we would also be plotting when to get our tree, and when we did, we would walk it the two blocks home singing 'Oh Christmas tree".
Then it kind of dawned on me. Christmas is about sharing the day with people you love. Whether it's just one day, or a couple weeks or silly stuff you do with someone. It's about being around and laughing with people you love.
This year my sister will be staying with me throughout the holidays. I'm also cooking Christmas dinner, and no one has called to bail out yet like previous years. Maybe I will feel it more so when my sister arrives. Maybe we'll watch movies and decorate together. Maybe I'll feel it on Christmas when everyone is around. Maybe I'll never feel it... we'll see

Luna & Sol

2009-11-28T23:34:00.001-08:00

I decided to take a break from the isolation, the comfort of my apartment, and embrace the outdoors. I took a nice walk around my neighbourhood and watched the sun setting. The sky filled with bands of thick clouds. In between the bands were various shades of pink and orange. I couldn't help but gaze and marvel at the beauty in which the sky beheld. Sometimes you just need to slow down... see, hear, touch, or experience the moment, whatever it may be.
After the sun was gone. The moon appeared in all it's glory. Magnificently glowing, almost full and quite large in the sky, it beamed down it's comfortable reassurance that everything in the universe is just as it should be. The moon is my favourite. Many nights I have walked, or biked around the city, gazing up at it's beauty, daydreaming of something equally as appealing to my senses.

Respect is deserved

2009-11-22T22:53:00.000-08:00

One of my regulars came into the bar with her friend. Turns out, her friend didn't have any money with her. This broke-beauty proceeded to order: two double vodka sodas, and nine shots. By this time, my regular smartened up and decided to clear the tab. She paid, explained the situation to me, and excused herself from the presence of disrespect.
Upon her exit the remaining 'friend', and a crazy random drunken mother were left. The two began to bitch about their children. It being after last call, I ignored them and continued to clean up.
Next thing I knew, the broke-beauty was screaming at the drunken mother's daughter on the phone. She kept repeating, "You need to give your mother respect! I'm going to take your mother home. I want to see your face, because you need to respect her."
This went on for over ten minutes. This woman, who obviously didn't respect her friend or her friend's generosity,was lecturing someone else on the morals of respect.
I put myself in the daughter's position. ~Your mother drunk at a bar, not wanting to come home. Some random drunk screaming at you over the phone about respect.~
At nineteen I had so many of my own issues, and this girl must too. It must be tough to deal with her mom behaving like that. I'm sure tonight will be another darkened spot on her memory.
I wanted to tell Brokey to shut up! That respect is earned, not just handed out like a flyer on the street.
Who is to say that her mother deserves respect? How does she treat her daughter? Yes, one SHOULD respect their parents, but in this situation only the mother and daughter truly know how much respect is deserved.

Contents of my Purse

2009-11-22T22:12:00.000-08:00

I thought you could learn a lot about a person simply by looking at the contents of their purse, or wallet. What you carry with you says a lot about you. Here's what was in my purse yesterday evening.....

One Nestle Pure Life half full water bottle
One PalmOne Treo Smartphone
One 375ml half full bottle of Tanqueray London Dry Gin
One TTC day pass for November 21st
Two packages of caps (for cap gun)
One 250ml spray bottle of Moringa Milk body lotion
One OLD 2G Nano (I-Pod) with original white ear buds
One almost empty package of life brand tissues
One empty Mexican skull stash case
Cheat notes for work (cash prices)
Lip gloss
Receipt paper with weird ass song lyrics made up by weird guy at my job
One full size Nat Sherman Cigar
Grapefruit flavoured chap stick
One 100ml spray bottle of Vanilla flavoured body mist
Eight pens
Two wine openers
Two bobby pins
One 375ml bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream liquor
Card holder with bank card etc...
Random paper with friend's msn address
All-purpose tool (kinda like Swiss army knife)
Compact
Mascara
Two eyeliners
Three eye shadows
Seven random receipts
One TTC bus transfer for November 13th @ 5:45pm.

How simple

2009-10-08T23:40:00.000-07:00

While walking home from the subway station, I was reminded just how beautiful the world can be. It was lightly misting, and was perfect temperature for my light pea coat. I looked up at the trees as I walked past the mini Mirvish parkette. I noticed hints of red and gold. Hearing a car splash by, I watched a leaf drop, it hit the ground effortlessly beside an imprint of it's golden father. I drew a deep breath, inhaling my childhood Halloween memories. "I enjoy this about the world", I thought as I turned my face towards the mist. How simple the beauty of the world can be.

Magically Delicious

2008-10-10T07:24:00.000-07:00

This morning as I am getting ready for work and eating breakfast as I notice the Lucky charms cereal box in front of me. On the front Lucky is advertising that they have a new shape; the hourglass! It is gold and yellow, and as I look over the side panel of the box, it appears that all the colours are represented, and everything seems to be in order.
Then it hits me smack in the face, Where are the pots of gold? The yellow pots with the gold on top! They were replaced with hourglasses? Are we in the Wizard of Oz and Lucky (Dorthy) only has so much time to live? Is this some kind of horrible foreshadowing that Lucky Charms will only be in store for a 'limited time' (gasp!). I, personally was under the impression that with a leprechaun comes a pot of gold. Should the cereal not look like the picture on the right?
I look to the back of the box for more information. I discover that when Lucky uses an hourglass, it make everything go backwards (in time was my guess). That's a cool power to have, but when did Lucky get powers? Is he not just lucky? Is that not the purpose of a leprechaun, to be lucky and give you some of his pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?
On the back of the box there is also a comic strip showing how Lucky uses the hourglass to foil some kids out of their box of lucky charms.
Should Lucky not use his pot of gold to pay rent, and stop sleeping in the forest. Maybe then he wouldn't have to steal cereal from unsuspecting kids.

Me? Attractive?

2008-10-09T07:45:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I forget other people find me attractive.
I arrived in a coffee shop a couple minutes early to meet my boy of interest and went to the counter to check out the goodies. (Not the blonde behind the counter, but the sweet delicious pastries that coffee shops shove in your face, forcing you to buy them.)
I decided on a herbal tea, and nanimo bar. The employee seemed baffled by me. After I had ordered my drink and treat he asked me if it was for "here, or to go?". "For here" I answered, expecting an Eco-friendly plate and glass mug. Instead he offered some awkward conversation, took my money, and smiling handed me my treat in a bag, and my tea in a paper cup.
Thinking not much of it, I took a seat.
Later in the conversation with my affectionate one, he asked me why I had gotten a bag, and paper cup, as it didn't seem like me. I responded telling him that I had in fact said, "for here."
We both laughed, and my boy said, "sometimes I would forget what I was doing when a pretty blonde would show up at my work."
We laughed a little more, and I thought how sometimes I really forget that some people find me attractive.
I think this is due to the media hype, plastering the world with so many pictures of the perfect (completely unachievable) body, with perfect skin and hair? Or because as people we are so self-conscious about our looks, that we forget that we do have attractive features?

Why men are afraid to ask for directions

2008-10-02T11:55:00.000-07:00

Siting on the top of the steps outside Union station, I am waiting to meet my friend. Watching the endless parade of rush-hour pedestrians, I am content. Instead of listening to my I-pod, I take in the city; smelling hot dog vendors, listening to the buzz, and inhaling the fumes of rush hour traffic.
I notice a group of teenagers come up from the subway and stop on the street. They look around confused as the change between tiny underground tunnels to big loud, bright streets can sometimes do. Seeming disorientated they begin to argue quietly between them. I know it is because they are somewhat lost.
I wonder if they would ask for directions and how long it might take to do so. Out of the group of five, the one male finally approaches me, "Excuse me, do you know where Yonge street is?"
I offer the simple directions, and he walks back to his group of girls; they continued away.
I sat wondering if this was the reason to which men hated asking for directions. Often being forced to do so early in life time and time again. Later in life they get grumpy; refusing to pull over and ask. They keep driving in circles, getting more and more lost. They are hoping to recognize something, anything that will point them in the direction of the event they are already running half an hour late for. They have been in this town too many times to count, but years of embarrassing, "it's just one block that way" answers repeating through their thoughts, are making it impossible to consider stopping the car for anything less than a red.

Writer's block

2008-09-29T10:58:00.000-07:00

For more than two weeks I've had a great story idea completely with a plot-line. I have not been able to write it. Usually my story writing consists of lots of short scenes writen until finally a plot line appears. For me to have the majority of the plot already mapped out, is an amazing feet.
Somehow my this story buzzing around in my brain, my pen to paper is broken. I can't be looking for inspiration, I already have the story and the characters and even the back story. Maybe it's my lack of practice. Practice builds strentgh and like they say makes prefect.
Even now as I'm writing this I am getting distracted and no longer wish to write. BAH!

Rain today?

2008-08-18T18:41:00.000-07:00

Within the first ten minutes of my day I noticed my hand hurt A LOT. I know it will rain today. I stiffened at the realization that I will be predicting future weather patterns through an once-broken bone.

A break-though

2008-08-04T17:39:00.000-07:00

Recently I have come to terms with a couple things in my life, and the first one being that I am a clumsy person. Never really feeling comfortable with this, until I got into a bike (not motorcycle or vespa, yes a bicycle) accident with a car (yes it was parked). After the rush and adrenaline wore off, and I was faced with continually explaining to people how I broke my hand. This was when I realized that I am, in fact, comfortable with being so "foolish".
I have lost the use of my right hand, and I am in fact right-handed. It now takes twice as long to do everything.
While I am taking eternity to brush my teeth, eat, or get dressed I hear the voice of one of my managers in my head. We once had this hour long conversation in which she told me that if I slowed down a bit, I might not get into half as many "clumsy" situations. I wished those words had passed through my head as I raced down the street, one-hand steering, and gazing off in an opposite direction.
I have also recently excepted something else said to me years ago, "Life will always be in your way. No matter what you are trying to accomplish, things will get in your way. You need to seize the moment, and take advantage of the opportunities presented to you."
At the time this was a salesperson, and I thought they were just trying to sell me this package of lessons. I disregarded their statement, however it somehow stuck with me. More and more I have seen that this statement is true, and the dividing factor, that usually stops progression is MONEY.
I am now realizing this broken hand is also another block along the way. One block at a time on the bumpy road of life.

Let's go to Lunch

2008-04-27T19:36:00.000-07:00

Looking around me, enjoying my lunch I see a couple; one with a burger, the other with a sandwich. They are both hunched over the tabletop, biting into their food, with sauces dripping down their arms.
There is a man eating Chinese food. Noodles are hanging out of his mouth, and he is slurping them up loudly. A larger woman is devouring a pastry, while crumbs fall all over her and the book she is completely engaged in.
Eating is not an appealing feature, however it is something we see displayed again and again as, "the dinner date".
It starts with the awkward concern for price. Are you paying? Is someone else? If they are, what is their price point? Do you go for the steak or stick with a cheap sandwich.
This is followed with the fest. You try not to spill anything, or look foolish. Let's not forget that food can get caught in your teeth, or sauce could appear on your face. How do you have any way to know this without being told by the very person you are trying to impress?
Why is it we choose to eat out together?
Many years ago you could tell a persons stature, and manners simply by the elegance at which they applied to eating.
However now stature is slightly less important, and eating out is a social movement.
Eating out is as common with friends, as seeing them. Ever so popular is the phrase, let's go to lunch.

Life Lists

2008-04-13T19:04:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week while reading a fashion magazine, I came across an article that spoke about life lists. Essentially a list of things you would like to accomplish in your life. The article said, "Life-lists are hot right now". Myself not being one to follow a trend did not feel immediately tempted to grab a pen and begin jotting.
This 'trend' came back into my head this evening as I grabbed some pizza. I got to a cute ma and pa operated place with a used familiar feeling to it. As I grabbed the pizza and choose my dipping sauce from pa, I noticed ma. She was sitting in an old wooden chair, watching TV, and scooping ice cream out of a Burger King cup. She looked completely content. I started to wonder... when she was my age, what did her life list look like? Did she get to accomplish all of her dreams or wishes? Is this the life she wanted?
However it turns out, my main goal has always been 'to be happy doing whatever it is I have decided.'
Seeing her, made me happy. There shouldn't be so much emphasis on doing every little single thing on that life list. Know that you will do these things with work, money, time and persistence.
Don't sweat it though; do like ma, enjoy yourself.

April Fools American Idol

2008-04-02T10:04:00.001-07:00

I like to watch Jeopardy; if I can answer three questions on a show I feel a touch smarter.
After Jeopardy I left the tv on, not in too much concern as to what follow up the rear.
American Idol started with the worst April's fools joke... The show wouldn't be on, instead we'd watch an older movie starting Simon Cowell. Who's writes that crap? Viewers would seriously believe this? Or is this the kind of viewers that watch American Idol. For a show that millions of people watch, you could get some good writers, especially if you are holding a "talent contest". Maybe I'm knocking them to hard, and the idea came from above. Whatever the case, it was stupid, especially since in the bottom right corner of the screen, it said, "LIVE".
I didn't turn the set off, but rather distracted myself with other things, turning to watch the performances. It was the Dolly Parton special, where she had helped the idols to make her songs their own. I was unaware as to what a great songwriter she was, and how many classic and beautiful songs she had written.
The whole night Simon was giving terrible feedback, like a grinch of sorts. The host and other judges chewed him out for it, but I agreed with him. These weren't amazing performances, they were nice, they looked good, but that's about as far as it went.
The highlights of the night were Carley Smithson, David Cook and David Archuleta. Cook's arrangement and use of his falsetto was impressive.
Carley's voice really resonated and went well with the song of her choice. There were a lot of cute pretty performance from the girl contestants and a couple interesting arrangements and choices for the guys.
Personally I don't like Archuleta, however his amazing voice, and the feeling he put into the song brought a tear to me eye (seriously). He will probably win, because he is a fan favourite.
The rest of the performances were there to fill in the time slot.
The very last song "I will always love you", was definitely the hardest to cover. No one can pull of like Whitney Houston, but Syesha Mercado tried, and she gets a shout out for that. The first part of the song was great, soft, sweet and sentimental. Just the way Dolly wrote it, without the added flares and trills of the Houston version.
What did I learn? If I'm interested in seeing who wins than I should wait three or four more weeks to check the progress. The performances were not something I'd had the patience to watch week after week (they are just not THAT good).
And that Simon tells it like it is, that is why he's there. I felt the other judges being nice, almost too nice, especially with nine contestants left.

The Myth about Napkins

2008-03-30T16:01:00.001-07:00

Today I was told not to fold napkins in front of guests in a restaurant. When I thought about it, I found it funny. Do people think that a machine folds them and magically resets the tables?
Think about it.... How sterilized is your napkin? How many people touched it, and were their hands clean?

It was washed by a linen company, then pressed in half a put into a giant stack of around twenty-five, and folded in half. Four of these stacks get saran wrapped together. This is one or two people.
The saran wrapped stacks then get placed into large bags by someone.
Someone delivers these large bags to restaurants on a weekly basis.
Someone else unloads these bags at the restaurant.
Server usually them fold napkins in large stacks. That is right kids, the same person that cleans up your dirty tissues, glasses, and plates, is the same one who folds up your napkin.
They do this in groups of two or more when restaurants are outside their peek hours.
These stacks of pre-folded napkins (or cutlery rolls) go onto shelves, and can sit there for hours or days.
Another server, bartender, or bus-person, takes them from here and places them on the table.
Then you sit down.
So, how many people did the napkin go through before you?
Why is it such a hidden thing in restaurants that servers should not fold napkins or roll cutlery in front of guests?
Are guest really unaware?

(The napkin cycle finishes by you using it. The server or bus-person places it into a large linen bag. The linen bag goes back to the linen company and the cycle starts again.)

Worst Table EVER

2008-03-27T21:53:00.000-07:00

After serving in restaurants for a couple years now, I thought I had experienced some very shitty tables. The most typical example is where the guests were very cheap, their bills were about $10 per person.
There have been incidences where they left you a very crappy tip, or sometimes no tip at all, and you (the server) had to pay (tip-out) to serve the table.
There have even been times where the table stayed all night, drinking water after their meal. "We’re fine" was their exclamation each time you approached to see about bringing the bill. Or maybe they are holding the bill, suddely refusing to pay or leave.
I even had a table where I had lost the host's credit card (it had fallen out of a broken billfold). The guests told me how stupid I was, and cancelled the card. Of course they didn't tip me, and the restaurant decided to take some things off of their cheque, to which I then had to purchase (and tip on). The other tables in my section didn't leave me much money either, agreeing with the ladies that I was "stupid". Net Sales that night: $800, tips made: $8.

I thought all of this to be horrible and painful until tonight...

For the first two hours of my shift I hadn't got a table. It wasn't that the restaurant wasn't busy; it's just that I wasn't getting sat. I was getting feed up, and at the point where I received my first table, I had mentally thrown in the towel and gone home.
Pulling myself back into the game I approached my table where one guy and one blonde girl, had been sat. They order drinks. Dropping of their drinks, I wait to get the attention of the new guest. After about fifteen seconds of being ignored I politely interrupt and offer this new women a drink. Let's call her Ms.Picky, and she orders a lime margarita on the rocks. When I Return with her the drink, she looks repulsed. I wait to hear some complaint. She takes a sip, says nothing so I smile and leave; now having other tables to tend to.
Upon returning she has flagged down a hostess, trying desperately to get rid of the drink. With the offer of something else, comes annoyance on her part. Everything she wants we do not carry, and our substitutions are not up to her standards.
With the backwards brushing of her hand, she waved me away "Bring me some ice water while I think about it."
The time doesn't help her decision, and with her water fixed as ammo, she settles on a cheap draft beer.
The three order some appetizers.
Another older woman joins them, and orders more appetizers, to which I verify that these will be coming after the ones already on the ways. She says no, they should be fine with just the original order.
After they eat their appetizers, she asks me what happened to the appetizers she had ordered. I explain that I was under the assumption that she had said that the original order would be enough food. I apologized, this was not my mistake, but I understand that you need to make the customer feel in the right.
By this point, at each trip to the table I feel I am fighting a wave of conversation and ignorance, to attain their attention, and keep it long enough for them to answer my simple questions (Another drink? May I remove this? Ready to order? May I bring you something else?)
At this point I tried to pawn the table off on another server, no deal! I can feel the black hole getting deeper each second, and this table swallowing me into it.I also knew at this point I would not be making any money off of this table.
The blonde girl orders her wine by pointing to her the almost empty glass, then pointing to me, and lifting her eyebrows in a challenge.
The guy seems nice, but really it's a mask for his underlying alter ego, that loves to tell me how to do my job. Some Examples?
Upon dropping off cutlery.... "You need to bring me a steak knife"
Upon taking drinks orders... "You can bring this drink with that one, (or) I'll take another when mine is done."
Upon trying to take the dinner order... "Come back in five minutes" (Four times!)
Upon clearing the table... "You can take this plate"
As I'm holding an empty plate... "We don't need that anymore." (REALLY?)

Before the food arrives, the guy flags down another server to order the table a round of shots.
When the food arrives, Ms. Picky takes one bite and flags someone down to tell him or her to get me immediately.
"This is the worst salad I've ever eaten, it's drenched in dressing! I can't even eat it. Where's the manager? Get them to come by, and his steak is not cooked enough," she blurts out all in one breath. I remove the salad, and asked the guy about his steak. He assures me it's fine. So I go to speak with the manager.
The manager tries to offer the girl something else. They take the salad, and an appetizer (just to be nice) off the bill. A drink was ordered by the manager for the table and I bring it to the older lady. Upon checking on them I was told, the drink was awful, and no one would drink it "remove it!"

When they were finally ready for the bill all my other tables had left (came after them and left before them). I asked and may sure that it was just 'one bill'.
Once I had printed it and left it on the table, I immediately tried to walk away. The older woman cried "wait!" and tapped her fake nails on the bill, "this is not right. We had an agreement with your manager, and it's not in here. Why don't you go get them?"
After ten minutes of speaking to the table, more drinks were taken off the bill. Let's recap shall we
One Lime margarita
One salad
One appetizer
One 'removed' cocktail
One cooler
One beer
Two glasses of wine
And the round of shots (4)

I went to process the bill. The guy once again told me how to do things, "Can you bring us separate cheques."
Our computer system is slightly older and once you have printed the original bill, you can not separate it. I tracked down the manager and got the cheques separated into what they had asked me for.
They then wanted items moved to other bills.
The pointing blonde yelled at another server to process her interact, and got very disgruntled when the server replied that they couldn't because they didn't know which server was assigned to their table.
Of course after all that trouble no one tipped a cent, and I had to pay to be treated like crap by those assholes.
Worst table ever. I hope so, if there can be worse, I wish you good luck, and patience.