End of a relationship...

When you hit "that" end, when you can feel your days are numbered, it is a strange feeling. Do you find yourself constantly thinking, "this will be the last time we…."? Your current relationship dictates how you approach the situation. It can be a morose, or a reliving time when it comes down to the last days. 

You gather with friends, celebrating their departure from your life whether positive or negative. Regardless of their impact on your life, they've changed you. You've shared moments,  memories, and experiences. 

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive" ~Anais Nin

Only time will tell what your future relationship has in store. Whether it be long distance, painful memories of a happier time or just a lack of communication, one can hope always for the best possible outcome. To hope for a possibility for that person to continue to exist in your life, or just your thoughts.

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." ~Albert Schweitzer

Positive thoughts, get on the right track

It has been forever since I have written anything in this blog. I feel that is okay, as no one reads it anyways.

Recently my life has a done a crazy shift around. Once you get out of the burning building, through the flames, through the smoke and heat, out into the street and you heartbeat begins to return to normal, only then do you start to grasp the new situation you have been handed. At this point you can check and feel your wounds and decide how you are about to live for the next five minutes.

I am currently in this moment, although I have been stretching it out. Instead of being proactive with my time, I have been enjoying the lack of responsibilities.  

Hopefully now I can gain some determination and start working towards my dreams. Life is about climbing that staircase, one step at a time. I have gotten to a great flight of stairs, but I have sat down. I need to force myself to continue walking. Only I can make myself do so.

Me!

Since my return from my sabbatico, I feel like I've been in this perpetual state of running. Constantly jumping from one this to the next, with no lay-overs or nights to just sit and relax. I realize that I have forgotten the most important lesson of my trip and what's most valuable to me. What is it you might ask? Why it's me! 
I have simply forgotten to do the things that make me happy and enjoy the minimal free time I've had. I also debate attempting to have a balance between work, friends, and home life... one always seems to be suffering. What is the equation to allow for this balance? Anyone got that figured out??
Well,  it is true that this summer I have been to far more concerts, festivals, and had numerous fun times with friends...  I can also say that work is going quite well... I'm serving more than bartending, getting decent sections and working mostly nights..... 
My home life goes through phases... it seems that it can stay fairly organized for maximum of a month... and then it falls to pieces for a week or so. 
And my attempts at dating.... don't even get my started on the disaster that is my love life and how I will probably never get over him. So much time has gone by, one would think the memories might subside.
I wonder if I could say this thing with myself is like a relationship... you need to work on it before it grows into something bigger, better and more beautiful. 
Ok self... let's go on a date! Tomorrow I'm gonna take you out for coffee (yumm moch java chip frappicunio), and buy you something nice. This is after I allow you to leisurely sleep in and I make you breakfast in bed. Tehehe!