Thursday, January 21, 2010

Interview me

So far I think I've been doing a decent job at my new position. Some days are much more trying than others, but I do what I can. When I first started doing the position I could tell the owners didn't trust me, and were really nervous that I wouldn't cut it. Lately they've been hanging around me less, and asking more of me. Each day I get a little nervous when the boss walks in, because I fear he will ask more of me, and I will still have to get all of this extra work done, not to mention my old responsibilities as well.
In the last week one of the oldest employees quit, and I was asked to "get someone". I set up a bunch of interviews when the boss told me when he wanted them booked in.
Ten minutes before the first interview I called him to ensure he would be showing up. He told me he was busy and to do them. In the last two days I've conduced eight interviews. I tried to keep it interesting, mixed it up a bit, and listen to them. I've decided I don't like the idea of having to screen people. Most of the people I spoke with were strong minded, well sorted and had so many aspirations, goals, and dreams. As people, there were really only two, that I thought were not amazing. The two with the loudest personalities, have schedules that don't completely comply with what we are looking for. The two others are tied for the job right now, are both equally qualified, with good experience, good wine knowledge, and seem that they would both fit in with the restaurant well.
The owner said if I couldn't choose he would choose. I'm suppose to book them in for their second "interviews" on Monday. I hope the owner shows up. I'm not good at saying no, and I feel as though now I must say no to a whole bunch of people.
I did not sign up for this, and I do not enjoy having extra responsibilities just dropped on me. Yes, I do continually rise to the occasion. Yes it does make me a better, stronger worker...
I have slowed down on the drinking. Having to be up each and every morning at 6am makes it a bit difficult to meet up with my friends who only begin to go out at 10pm. My social life is not really happening right now, which is okay because my home life is a disaster. I am so far behind on so many of the little things I have to do. I keep telling myself I will get to it, but never do... eep!
In the last week I have played catch-up with a couple old friends. Annoyance came at one, when I could clearly tell they were not listening to me. For one who was insistent on chatting and catching up, it was clear that they have absolutely no interest in actually catching up. I couldn't help but feel sad as well. I hate when you know something isn't half of what of you thought it was.
The other friend was great, continually asking me question after question, wanting to know everything about everything, and genially interested in what I've been up to. At one point he said to me that it seemed things were pretty well put together in my life. I felt shocked by this. I feel so torn at the seams, and as if I move just the wrong way everything will just fall to pieces. I feel mentally exhausted and slightly broken. I guess my mask and facade are far more convincing than I perceive them to be. Had a great time with this friend as I always do. Thanks to REAL people. Good people! (The few that exist)

1 comment:

Simon said...

Yeah, real people rock...(Simon)