Magically Delicious

This morning as I am getting ready for work and eating breakfast as I notice the Lucky charms cereal box in front of me. On the front Lucky is advertising that they have a new shape; the hourglass! It is gold and yellow, and as I look over the side panel of the box, it appears that all the colours are represented, and everything seems to be in order.
Then it hits me smack in the face, Where are the pots of gold? The yellow pots with the gold on top! They were replaced with hourglasses? Are we in the Wizard of Oz and Lucky (Dorthy) only has so much time to live? Is this some kind of horrible foreshadowing that Lucky Charms will only be in store for a 'limited time' (gasp!). I, personally was under the impression that with a leprechaun comes a pot of gold. Should the cereal not look like the picture on the right?
I look to the back of the box for more information. I discover that when Lucky uses an hourglass, it make everything go backwards (in time was my guess). That's a cool power to have, but when did Lucky get powers? Is he not just lucky? Is that not the purpose of a leprechaun, to be lucky and give you some of his pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?
On the back of the box there is also a comic strip showing how Lucky uses the hourglass to foil some kids out of their box of lucky charms.
Should Lucky not use his pot of gold to pay rent, and stop sleeping in the forest. Maybe then he wouldn't have to steal cereal from unsuspecting kids.

Me? Attractive?

Sometimes I forget other people find me attractive.
I arrived in a coffee shop a couple minutes early to meet my boy of interest and went to the counter to check out the goodies. (Not the blonde behind the counter, but the sweet delicious pastries that coffee shops shove in your face, forcing you to buy them.)
I decided on a herbal tea, and nanimo bar. The employee seemed baffled by me. After I had ordered my drink and treat he asked me if it was for "here, or to go?". "For here" I answered, expecting an Eco-friendly plate and glass mug. Instead he offered some awkward conversation, took my money, and smiling handed me my treat in a bag, and my tea in a paper cup.
Thinking not much of it, I took a seat.
Later in the conversation with my affectionate one, he asked me why I had gotten a bag, and paper cup, as it didn't seem like me. I responded telling him that I had in fact said, "for here."
We both laughed, and my boy said, "sometimes I would forget what I was doing when a pretty blonde would show up at my work."
We laughed a little more, and I thought how sometimes I really forget that some people find me attractive.
I think this is due to the media hype, plastering the world with so many pictures of the perfect (completely unachievable) body, with perfect skin and hair? Or because as people we are so self-conscious about our looks, that we forget that we do have attractive features?

Why men are afraid to ask for directions

Siting on the top of the steps outside Union station, I am waiting to meet my friend. Watching the endless parade of rush-hour pedestrians, I am content. Instead of listening to my I-pod, I take in the city; smelling hot dog vendors, listening to the buzz, and inhaling the fumes of rush hour traffic.
I notice a group of teenagers come up from the subway and stop on the street. They look around confused as the change between tiny underground tunnels to big loud, bright streets can sometimes do. Seeming disorientated they begin to argue quietly between them. I know it is because they are somewhat lost.
I wonder if they would ask for directions and how long it might take to do so. Out of the group of five, the one male finally approaches me, "Excuse me, do you know where Yonge street is?"
I offer the simple directions, and he walks back to his group of girls; they continued away.
I sat wondering if this was the reason to which men hated asking for directions. Often being forced to do so early in life time and time again. Later in life they get grumpy; refusing to pull over and ask. They keep driving in circles, getting more and more lost. They are hoping to recognize something, anything that will point them in the direction of the event they are already running half an hour late for. They have been in this town too many times to count, but years of embarrassing, "it's just one block that way" answers repeating through their thoughts, are making it impossible to consider stopping the car for anything less than a red.

Writer's block

For more than two weeks I've had a great story idea completely with a plot-line. I have not been able to write it. Usually my story writing consists of lots of short scenes writen until finally a plot line appears. For me to have the majority of the plot already mapped out, is an amazing feet.
Somehow my this story buzzing around in my brain, my pen to paper is broken. I can't be looking for inspiration, I already have the story and the characters and even the back story. Maybe it's my lack of practice. Practice builds strentgh and like they say makes prefect.
Even now as I'm writing this I am getting distracted and no longer wish to write. BAH!

Rain today?

Within the first ten minutes of my day I noticed my hand hurt A LOT. I know it will rain today. I stiffened at the realization that I will be predicting future weather patterns through an once-broken bone.

A break-though

Recently I have come to terms with a couple things in my life, and the first one being that I am a clumsy person. Never really feeling comfortable with this, until I got into a bike (not motorcycle or vespa, yes a bicycle) accident with a car (yes it was parked). After the rush and adrenaline wore off, and I was faced with continually explaining to people how I broke my hand. This was when I realized that I am, in fact, comfortable with being so "foolish".
I have lost the use of my right hand, and I am in fact right-handed. It now takes twice as long to do everything.
While I am taking eternity to brush my teeth, eat, or get dressed I hear the voice of one of my managers in my head. We once had this hour long conversation in which she told me that if I slowed down a bit, I might not get into half as many "clumsy" situations. I wished those words had passed through my head as I raced down the street, one-hand steering, and gazing off in an opposite direction.
I have also recently excepted something else said to me years ago, "Life will always be in your way. No matter what you are trying to accomplish, things will get in your way. You need to seize the moment, and take advantage of the opportunities presented to you."
At the time this was a salesperson, and I thought they were just trying to sell me this package of lessons. I disregarded their statement, however it somehow stuck with me. More and more I have seen that this statement is true, and the dividing factor, that usually stops progression is MONEY.
I am now realizing this broken hand is also another block along the way. One block at a time on the bumpy road of life.

Let's go to Lunch

Looking around me, enjoying my lunch I see a couple; one with a burger, the other with a sandwich. They are both hunched over the tabletop, biting into their food, with sauces dripping down their arms.
There is a man eating Chinese food. Noodles are hanging out of his mouth, and he is slurping them up loudly. A larger woman is devouring a pastry, while crumbs fall all over her and the book she is completely engaged in.
Eating is not an appealing feature, however it is something we see displayed again and again as, "the dinner date".
It starts with the awkward concern for price. Are you paying? Is someone else? If they are, what is their price point? Do you go for the steak or stick with a cheap sandwich.
This is followed with the fest. You try not to spill anything, or look foolish. Let's not forget that food can get caught in your teeth, or sauce could appear on your face. How do you have any way to know this without being told by the very person you are trying to impress?
Why is it we choose to eat out together?
Many years ago you could tell a persons stature, and manners simply by the elegance at which they applied to eating.
However now stature is slightly less important, and eating out is a social movement.
Eating out is as common with friends, as seeing them. Ever so popular is the phrase, let's go to lunch.

Life Lists

Earlier this week while reading a fashion magazine, I came across an article that spoke about life lists. Essentially a list of things you would like to accomplish in your life. The article said, "Life-lists are hot right now". Myself not being one to follow a trend did not feel immediately tempted to grab a pen and begin jotting.
This 'trend' came back into my head this evening as I grabbed some pizza. I got to a cute ma and pa operated place with a used familiar feeling to it. As I grabbed the pizza and choose my dipping sauce from pa, I noticed ma. She was sitting in an old wooden chair, watching TV, and scooping ice cream out of a Burger King cup. She looked completely content. I started to wonder... when she was my age, what did her life list look like? Did she get to accomplish all of her dreams or wishes? Is this the life she wanted?
However it turns out, my main goal has always been 'to be happy doing whatever it is I have decided.'
Seeing her, made me happy. There shouldn't be so much emphasis on doing every little single thing on that life list. Know that you will do these things with work, money, time and persistence.
Don't sweat it though; do like ma, enjoy yourself.

April Fools American Idol

I like to watch Jeopardy; if I can answer three questions on a show I feel a touch smarter.
After Jeopardy I left the tv on, not in too much concern as to what follow up the rear.
American Idol started with the worst April's fools joke... The show wouldn't be on, instead we'd watch an older movie starting Simon Cowell. Who's writes that crap? Viewers would seriously believe this? Or is this the kind of viewers that watch American Idol. For a show that millions of people watch, you could get some good writers, especially if you are holding a "talent contest". Maybe I'm knocking them to hard, and the idea came from above. Whatever the case, it was stupid, especially since in the bottom right corner of the screen, it said, "LIVE".
I didn't turn the set off, but rather distracted myself with other things, turning to watch the performances. It was the Dolly Parton special, where she had helped the idols to make her songs their own. I was unaware as to what a great songwriter she was, and how many classic and beautiful songs she had written.
The whole night Simon was giving terrible feedback, like a grinch of sorts. The host and other judges chewed him out for it, but I agreed with him. These weren't amazing performances, they were nice, they looked good, but that's about as far as it went.
The highlights of the night were Carley Smithson, David Cook and David Archuleta. Cook's arrangement and use of his falsetto was impressive.
Carley's voice really resonated and went well with the song of her choice. There were a lot of cute pretty performance from the girl contestants and a couple interesting arrangements and choices for the guys.
Personally I don't like Archuleta, however his amazing voice, and the feeling he put into the song brought a tear to me eye (seriously). He will probably win, because he is a fan favourite.
The rest of the performances were there to fill in the time slot.
The very last song "I will always love you", was definitely the hardest to cover. No one can pull of like Whitney Houston, but Syesha Mercado tried, and she gets a shout out for that. The first part of the song was great, soft, sweet and sentimental. Just the way Dolly wrote it, without the added flares and trills of the Houston version.
What did I learn? If I'm interested in seeing who wins than I should wait three or four more weeks to check the progress. The performances were not something I'd had the patience to watch week after week (they are just not THAT good).
And that Simon tells it like it is, that is why he's there. I felt the other judges being nice, almost too nice, especially with nine contestants left.

The Myth about Napkins

Today I was told not to fold napkins in front of guests in a restaurant. When I thought about it, I found it funny. Do people think that a machine folds them and magically resets the tables?
Think about it.... How sterilized is your napkin? How many people touched it, and were their hands clean?

It was washed by a linen company, then pressed in half a put into a giant stack of around twenty-five, and folded in half. Four of these stacks get saran wrapped together. This is one or two people.
The saran wrapped stacks then get placed into large bags by someone.
Someone delivers these large bags to restaurants on a weekly basis.
Someone else unloads these bags at the restaurant.
Server usually them fold napkins in large stacks. That is right kids, the same person that cleans up your dirty tissues, glasses, and plates, is the same one who folds up your napkin.
They do this in groups of two or more when restaurants are outside their peek hours.
These stacks of pre-folded napkins (or cutlery rolls) go onto shelves, and can sit there for hours or days.
Another server, bartender, or bus-person, takes them from here and places them on the table.
Then you sit down.
So, how many people did the napkin go through before you?
Why is it such a hidden thing in restaurants that servers should not fold napkins or roll cutlery in front of guests?
Are guest really unaware?

(The napkin cycle finishes by you using it. The server or bus-person places it into a large linen bag. The linen bag goes back to the linen company and the cycle starts again.)

Worst Table EVER

After serving in restaurants for a couple years now, I thought I had experienced some very shitty tables. The most typical example is where the guests were very cheap, their bills were about $10 per person.
There have been incidences where they left you a very crappy tip, or sometimes no tip at all, and you (the server) had to pay (tip-out) to serve the table.
There have even been times where the table stayed all night, drinking water after their meal. "We’re fine" was their exclamation each time you approached to see about bringing the bill. Or maybe they are holding the bill, suddely refusing to pay or leave.
I even had a table where I had lost the host's credit card (it had fallen out of a broken billfold). The guests told me how stupid I was, and cancelled the card. Of course they didn't tip me, and the restaurant decided to take some things off of their cheque, to which I then had to purchase (and tip on). The other tables in my section didn't leave me much money either, agreeing with the ladies that I was "stupid". Net Sales that night: $800, tips made: $8.

I thought all of this to be horrible and painful until tonight...

For the first two hours of my shift I hadn't got a table. It wasn't that the restaurant wasn't busy; it's just that I wasn't getting sat. I was getting feed up, and at the point where I received my first table, I had mentally thrown in the towel and gone home.
Pulling myself back into the game I approached my table where one guy and one blonde girl, had been sat. They order drinks. Dropping of their drinks, I wait to get the attention of the new guest. After about fifteen seconds of being ignored I politely interrupt and offer this new women a drink. Let's call her Ms.Picky, and she orders a lime margarita on the rocks. When I Return with her the drink, she looks repulsed. I wait to hear some complaint. She takes a sip, says nothing so I smile and leave; now having other tables to tend to.
Upon returning she has flagged down a hostess, trying desperately to get rid of the drink. With the offer of something else, comes annoyance on her part. Everything she wants we do not carry, and our substitutions are not up to her standards.
With the backwards brushing of her hand, she waved me away "Bring me some ice water while I think about it."
The time doesn't help her decision, and with her water fixed as ammo, she settles on a cheap draft beer.
The three order some appetizers.
Another older woman joins them, and orders more appetizers, to which I verify that these will be coming after the ones already on the ways. She says no, they should be fine with just the original order.
After they eat their appetizers, she asks me what happened to the appetizers she had ordered. I explain that I was under the assumption that she had said that the original order would be enough food. I apologized, this was not my mistake, but I understand that you need to make the customer feel in the right.
By this point, at each trip to the table I feel I am fighting a wave of conversation and ignorance, to attain their attention, and keep it long enough for them to answer my simple questions (Another drink? May I remove this? Ready to order? May I bring you something else?)
At this point I tried to pawn the table off on another server, no deal! I can feel the black hole getting deeper each second, and this table swallowing me into it.I also knew at this point I would not be making any money off of this table.
The blonde girl orders her wine by pointing to her the almost empty glass, then pointing to me, and lifting her eyebrows in a challenge.
The guy seems nice, but really it's a mask for his underlying alter ego, that loves to tell me how to do my job. Some Examples?
Upon dropping off cutlery.... "You need to bring me a steak knife"
Upon taking drinks orders... "You can bring this drink with that one, (or) I'll take another when mine is done."
Upon trying to take the dinner order... "Come back in five minutes" (Four times!)
Upon clearing the table... "You can take this plate"
As I'm holding an empty plate... "We don't need that anymore." (REALLY?)

Before the food arrives, the guy flags down another server to order the table a round of shots.
When the food arrives, Ms. Picky takes one bite and flags someone down to tell him or her to get me immediately.
"This is the worst salad I've ever eaten, it's drenched in dressing! I can't even eat it. Where's the manager? Get them to come by, and his steak is not cooked enough," she blurts out all in one breath. I remove the salad, and asked the guy about his steak. He assures me it's fine. So I go to speak with the manager.
The manager tries to offer the girl something else. They take the salad, and an appetizer (just to be nice) off the bill. A drink was ordered by the manager for the table and I bring it to the older lady. Upon checking on them I was told, the drink was awful, and no one would drink it "remove it!"

When they were finally ready for the bill all my other tables had left (came after them and left before them). I asked and may sure that it was just 'one bill'.
Once I had printed it and left it on the table, I immediately tried to walk away. The older woman cried "wait!" and tapped her fake nails on the bill, "this is not right. We had an agreement with your manager, and it's not in here. Why don't you go get them?"
After ten minutes of speaking to the table, more drinks were taken off the bill. Let's recap shall we
One Lime margarita
One salad
One appetizer
One 'removed' cocktail
One cooler
One beer
Two glasses of wine
And the round of shots (4)

I went to process the bill. The guy once again told me how to do things, "Can you bring us separate cheques."
Our computer system is slightly older and once you have printed the original bill, you can not separate it. I tracked down the manager and got the cheques separated into what they had asked me for.
They then wanted items moved to other bills.
The pointing blonde yelled at another server to process her interact, and got very disgruntled when the server replied that they couldn't because they didn't know which server was assigned to their table.
Of course after all that trouble no one tipped a cent, and I had to pay to be treated like crap by those assholes.
Worst table ever. I hope so, if there can be worse, I wish you good luck, and patience.